Are You Being Gaslit? 8 Signs to Watch Out For

Sad woman looking in the distance

While the term “gaslighting” is often used jokingly or out of context, it’s important to keep what it means in perspective. The danger of allowing our understanding of certain words to be watered down is a disservice to ourselves. Gaslighting is a disorienting experience and it’s already difficult to realize when it’s happening to you, so it’s important not to lose sight of what it really means. To help you understand if you’re being gaslit by a romantic partner, friend, or even family member, here are 8 signs you should watch out for:


You constantly ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive about this?”

Woman looking confused

Photo by Polina Zimmerman

One of the most insidious aspects of gaslighting is that it makes you doubt your own feelings and perceptions. When someone constantly dismisses your emotions as "too sensitive" or "overreacting," it breaks down your confidence in your own emotional responses and the things you perceive. If someone in your life is constantly making you ask yourself if you’re being too sensitive, chances are you’re being gaslit. This tactic serves to invalidate you and make you feel like your reactions are unreasonable, so you have to remind yourself that you feel a certain way for a reason.

You often feel confused or even “crazy”

Woman of color looking sad

Photo by Alex Green

Gaslighters are very effective at making their victims feel disoriented and unsure of themselves. They might contradict themselves, deny things they've said or done, or spin a completely different version of events. This constant shifting of reality leaves you feeling off-balance and doubting your own memory and sanity. If you often feel confused or get called “crazy” when you have disagreements with someone you know, it’s time to pause and assess how healthy the relationship really is.

You’re the one who’s always apologizing for something

blocks of letters spelling I'm sorry

Photo by Brett Jordan

If you find yourself constantly apologizing, it might be a sign that you're being gaslit. Gaslighters often shift the blame onto their victims, making them feel responsible for any problems or conflicts. This is how they make you believe you’re always in the wrong and you have to apologize. Guilt is a way to keep you submissive, so if you find yourself apologizing most or all of the time, it could be time to assess the relationship.

You know something is wrong but can’t put your finger on it

Woman looking suspicious

Photo by Liza Summer

One of the most confusing aspects of gaslighting is that you constantly feel like something’s wrong, but you don’t know what. Remember that gaslighting makes you question your reality and that can lead to a feeling of unease that never really leaves you. If you feel this way more often than not, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Seeking the perspective of a third party you trust could be very helpful when dealing with a gaslighter.

You start lying to avoid trouble

Woman sitting on the floor hiding her face

Photo by Liza Summer

You’re so used to this person criticizing and manipulating you that you might start lying about small things. This kind of behavior is a response to the gaslighting tactics you’ve probably been dealing with. Lying just feels like the best way to protect yourself from the other person trying to distort reality and put you down over something. The problem is that lies often come to the light and it adds to your guilt and sense of confusion even further. The best way to avoid trouble is to cut the gaslighter out of your life.

You frequently make excuses for them

group of block letters

Photo by Brett Jordan

Making excuses for someone's hurtful behavior is a common reaction to gaslighting. You might rationalize their actions by thinking, "They're just stressed," or "They didn't mean it that way." This is a defense mechanism that helps you cope with the cognitive dissonance between your partner's behavior and your perception of them. Recognizing this pattern is essential to breaking free from it!

You have trouble making simple decisions

Blurry woman in front of a chess board in focus

Photo by Engin Akyurt

Gaslighting erodes your self-confidence and decision-making abilities. When you’re always made to doubt everything, you start second-guessing everything in your life. That’s why decisions, even small ones, may start to feel overwhelming. If you find yourself constantly paralyzed when you have to decide something, it could be time to assess your relationship with this person and start reclaiming your power.

You wonder if you’re good enough

Woman looking in the mirror

Photo by Gantas Vaičiulėnas

Ultimately, what gaslighters want is to have control over you. One way to accomplish that goal is to make you feel unworthy so you turn to them for approval. If you’re constantly questioning your worth, especially based on things this person has said to you, you have to affirm your value. You’re worthy and you’re good enough; don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

If you recognize these signs in any kind of relationship in your life, it's important to seek support. Talk to trusted friends or family members, or consult a mental health professional if you need help breaking the cycle. You’re not alone!

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

hands holding up yellow protest signs that say Hands Off Our Bodies
Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).