Stop Lying: You Actually Love Hallmark Movies

The Plot Is Always the Same—And You Love It

City girl with a high-powered job reluctantly returns to her small hometown (bonus points if it’s called something like “Evergreen Hollow”). There, she meets a ruggedly handsome man who makes Christmas ornaments for a living. They bicker, fall in love, and save the local Christmas tree farm—just in time for the Christmas Eve kiss. You know exactly what’s going to happen, and somehow, that’s the magic. It’s like a warm, festive security blanket for your soul.

Everyone Is Gorgeous—Even While Shoveling Snow

How is it that nobody in these towns has a bad hair day? The women always have flawless curls, the men are rugged lumberjacks with perfectly trimmed beards, and even the extras look like they moonlight as catalog models. Meanwhile, you’re over here in sweatpants, questioning your life choices but still swooning over Mr. Christmas Cardigan.

The Small Towns Are Completely Unrealistic

Every Hallmark small town has:

• A twinkling Christmas market
• A magical coffee shop that serves the best peppermint mochas (but never has lines)
• Snow that falls perfectly without ever turning into slush

It’s so picture-perfect it borders on absurd, but don’t lie—you’d move to “Candy Cane Falls” in a heartbeat if you could.

The Holiday Cheer Is Almost Too Much

Every single person in these movies LOOOVES Christmas. We’re talking decorating contests, caroling at the drop of a hat, and elaborate gingerbread houses that look like they should be in Architectural Digest. In real life, you know at least one person who hasn’t put up a tree since 2005. But somehow, watching a town where every citizen is holiday-obsessed feels… oddly comforting?

The “Conflict” Is Always Ridiculous

Let’s face it: the drama in these movies is laughable. Will the Christmas pageant go on after the star loses her voice? Will the snowstorm delay the big corporate deal? Will our heroine choose love over her big-city promotion? None of it matters, and yet you’re sitting there, genuinely invested, as if the fate of Christmas itself hangs in the balance. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t—but your eyes will probably still water a little when they make it work.

You Can’t Stop Watching, and You Don’t Even Care Anymore

You started watching ironically, maybe even hate-watching. But now? Now you’re fully committed and it’s an essential part of your holiday season. You have favorite tropes and you’ve started Googling which movies are premiering this year. You might roll your eyes at the over-the-top cheesiness, but you’re grinning the whole time. Admit it—you’re in too deep, and you love every minute.

Hallmark Christmas movies are like sugar cookies: a little too sweet, undeniably predictable, and somehow impossible to resist. So, stop lying to yourself and everyone else, and admit you think they’re great. Ridiculous, yes, but great. It’s not a guilty pleasure, it’s just a pleasure, and no one’s judging.