In The Community
“Solis” by Paola Mendoza and Abby Sher
Image Credit: Paola Mendoza and Abby Sher.
This is the only book on the list that isn’t out yet, but you won’t have to wait long to get your hands on it. “Solis” by Colombian Paola Mendoza, writer, award-winning film director, activist, and co-founder of the Women’s March, and Abby Sher, writer and performer, is a dystopian young adult sci-fi novel that explores the sacrifices of standing up and fighting for freedom.
Set in a near-future America where undocumented immigrants are trapped in labor camps, forced to dig for a mineral that could change the world, and experimented on, our heroine, Rania, is ready to start a revolution. This Lebanese teenager and 3 brave fellow prisoners are set to fight against the corrupt, xenophobic government keeping its boot on their necks. Will they succeed, or is it too late for change? “Solis” feels more current than ever and it provides important, empowering social commentary wrapped in an action-packed story that will keep you turning the pages.
“Solis” will be out on October 8, 2024. Pre-order it here.“Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America” by Paola Ramos
Image Credit: Paola Ramos.
Paola Ramos, of Cuban and Mexican descent, is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and a political force to be reckoned with. As a contributor for Telemundo News and MSNBC, and a former correspondent for Vice News, Ramos knows her stuff. She’s worked on campaigns for both President Obama and Hillary Clinton and is also the author of “Finding Latin-X,” making her one of the most important voices in contemporary Latino issues.
In her latest nonfiction book, “Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America,” Ramos dives into the rise of far-right sentiment among Latinos and provides insightful political analysis. This book also explores Latino identity and how it intersects with politics today, making it an essential read to understand how race and identity shape American politics—and how Latinos, one of the most misunderstood electorates, could help reshape the future.
“Burnt Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People” by Daisy Auger-Domínguez
Image Credit: Daisy Auger-Domínguez.
Feeling burnt out from work is something most people are very familiar with. Especially if they’re in leadership positions, where so much is riding on their shoulders. If you can relate to that, “Burnt Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People,” by Daisy Auger-Domínguez can help rekindle your leadership fire and find joy in your work again. Whether you’re managing a small team or an entire organization, this book offers practical tools to overcome burnout and inspire your employees.
Using her own personal stories, research, and actionable strategies, Dominican-Puerto Rican Aguer-Domínguez offers an invaluable guide to lead with passion, even when you feel like you’re being tested on all fronts. As a global leader and expert on the future of work, inclusion, and leadership burnout, Auger-Domínguez is one of the most qualified Latinas to offer this guidance. With experience at global giants like Google, Disney, and Vice Media, she knows how to create thriving work cultures, and isn’t gatekeeping her secrets.
“Thank You, Gracias” by Susie Jaramillos
Image Credit: Susie Jaramillo.
If you’re sharing your love of reading with little ones, whether that’s your own children, younger siblings, nieces and nephews, etc., “Thank You, Gracias,” is a lovely book to introduce them to. Venezuelan-American Susie Jaramillo is an Emmy-nominated creator and you might already know her as the creator of the successful bilingual preschool brand, Canticos. Her award-winning work has helped millions of kids around the world embrace bilingual education through songs, books, and apps, and she’s known for her creativity, which expands from storytelling to entrepreneurship.
Jaramillo’s “Thank You, Gracias” is a lift-the-flap board book full of playful rhymes in English and Spanish, and cheerful illustrations. It’s a charming read that will help children learn about giving thanks while having fun and interacting with a beautiful book. It’s an essential one if you’re raising bilingual kids or want to introduce children to a new language in a way that makes it truly interesting and engaging for them.
“The Daggers of Ire” by J.C. Cervantes
Image Credit: J.C. Cervantes.
In “The Daggers of Ire,” Esmerelda Santos, a rare bruja with Chaos magic, faces the biggest challenge of her life. After a mysterious curse wipes out all the magic in her town, Esme and her best friend Tiago must go on a dangerous journey to save their families. With a witch hunter hot on their trail, they race against time to unlock the secrets of an ancient legend. This middle-grade Latine fantasy is full of magic, humor, and heart, exploring courage and sisterhood in a heartwarming adventure.
J.C. Cervantes, of Mexican and Anglo descent, is a New York Times bestselling author known for blending Latino culture with fantasy elements to create vibrant worlds for children, young adults, and adults. She’s known for her “Storm Runner” series, which is a worldwide success, and her books have earned her multiple awards, including the New Mexico Book Award. She’s all about finding magic in everyday life, and this latest book from her offers exactly that.
With these recent releases, Latina authors are bringing powerful, diverse, and educational stories to the forefront. Whether you’re in the mood for fiction or nonfiction, these books should have a spot on your to-be-read list. Happy reading!
- Books by Latina Authors That Have Inspired Us ›
- Summer Reads by Latina Authors You Can't Miss ›
- Defectors: Paola Ramos Dissects the Latino Far Right - Luz Media ›
Here's the thing, there's a big difference between the two and it’s important to be able to distinguish between rude and even selfish behavior and narcissistic abuse. We can get over rudeness, but narcissistic abuse can cause long-term harm that can be difficult to recover from and leave us forever changed.
What is Emotional Manipulation in Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Emotional manipulation is the narcissist’s primary weapon. We've all met the occasional jerk - someone who might be blunt, insensitive, or even obnoxious. They might not care much about your feelings or needs at the moment, but that doesn't necessarily make them narcissists. A jerk can have a bad day, be unaware of their behavior, or simply lack some social graces.
A narcissist, on the other hand, is someone who meets at least five of the nine criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
The DSM-5 states that in order to be clinically diagnosed with NPD, a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and that present in a variety of contexts, must be shown by at least five of the following:
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. - exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- Believes that he, she, or they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- Requires excessive admiration
- Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. - unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations)
- Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e. - takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends)
- Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them
- Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
It’s important to understand that this is a deeper issue than just occasional bad behavior. It's a consistent pattern of self-serving behavior with no regard for the harm they are causing others.
Imagine the classic telenovela villain – always plotting, scheming, and manipulating. But in real life, emotional manipulation isn't always that obvious. A narcissist can play the victim, guilt-trip you, gaslight, or make you doubt your own feelings and perceptions.
They know how to pull the strings, often making you feel like you're the one who is always to blame for their bad behavior. They are notorious for manipulating you with surgical precision, and no matter how many receipts you present, they will never take accountability for any of their behavior.
This is worth noting because the narcissist will make you feel like you’re losing your mind and that perhaps it actually is you who is the problem - it’s not you.
Remember this sage advice: "No todo lo que brilla es oro.” Just because someone comes across as charming doesn't always mean they have good intentions. Their charm is just another emotional manipulation tool in their narcissist toolbox. It’s disarming and very effective.
Emotional Manipulation and Latino Culture
In Latino culture, where family and relationships are deeply valued, there’s a unique vulnerability to emotional manipulation. Concepts like 'familia' and 'respeto' might sometimes make it harder to set boundaries or recognize manipulation, as it’s common for us to put others before ourselves.
- Machismo & Marianismo: Traditional gender roles can play into these dynamics. While 'machismo' demands dominance from men, 'marianismo' dictates that Latina women be submissive and sacrificial. A narcissist might exploit these norms to manipulate or control their partners.
- La Familia Above All: In many Latino families, there's an emphasis on maintaining family unity, even at personal costs. A narcissist might manipulate this sentiment, making it challenging for Latina women to distinguish between genuine concern and emotional control.
- Religion and Spirituality: Deep-rooted spiritual beliefs might be used against someone. A narcissistic partner may misuse religious teachings, portraying their manipulative actions as 'for the greater good' or for 'family's sake.'
The cultural focus on communal connections can sometimes mask or justify narcissistic behaviors. But it's essential to recognize that standing up for ourselves doesn't mean we're betraying our values. Saying, “I refuse to put up with this,” is the most self-respecting and self-loving thing to do, despite how incredibly difficult it feels.
Recognizing Emotional Manipulation
Emotional manipulation by a narcissist can be subtle, which is why it’s so dangerous. Oftentimes, you don’t even recognize that it’s happening. Some signs include:
- Gaslighting: Making you question your reality or memories. This can be particularly impactful for Latina women who already juggle between cultural worlds.
- Playing the Victim: They might twist stories so that they’re always the victim, pushing you into a caregiver or fixer role, which many Latinas might feel culturally compelled to adopt.
- Using Love as a Weapon: They might offer affection conditionally or withhold it to get what they want, manipulating the value of deep passion and love.
There’s a myriad of other emotional manipulation tactics they might use; all of which you can check out in detail here.
Protecting Yourself and Healing from a Narcissist
When it comes to safeguarding yourself, the journey kicks off with one pivotal aspect: awareness. It's all about recognizing that the norms we hold dear in our cultures can sometimes be twisted and misused. This realization forms the bedrock, but what follows are some down-to-earth tips that can really make a difference:
First up, education. Delving into what makes up Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) equips you to spot its signs early on. It's like having a secret weapon of insight.
Next, seeking support. Friends, family, or even groups of women who've walked similar paths, can be a beacon of light, helping you sort through your doubts and questions.
Then there's therapy, a space to navigate the labyrinth of emotions. A therapist, especially one who understands the nuances of our Latino background, can offer invaluable guidance in recovering from a narcissistic abuser. Many therapists agree that recovering from a relationship with a narcissist is one of the hardest types of relationships to recover from because the pain and confusion feel overwhelming. As noted, the behavior is hard to identify, and victims tend to blame themselves and continue to suffer long after the relationship is over.
Last but definitely not least, setting those boundaries. Setting boundaries isn’t just encouraged, it's important. Despite the weight of cultural expectations, standing up for your own well-being and drawing a line in the sand is a literal line of protection against further abuse.
Social media post shared by myexisanarcissistandimadeitout on Instagram
Social media post shared by myexisanarcissistandimadeitout on Instagram
Armed with these tools you have the power to avoid narcissistic abuse, or you may realize that you’re a victim of abuse and cutting off or minimizing your exposure is the only way out. As always, remember you're strong, capable, and worth more than what the narcissist has expertly made you believe.
The road to recovery can feel long, but eventually, you get to the other side and a newer, healthier you is awaiting your arrival.
