Voices
In The Community
Sitting at the back of the class, I was always the chatterbox. My weekly report cards routinely pointed out my constant talking and frequent distractions. These infractions were enough to earn me the "platica mucho en clase" stamp - labeling me a chatty parrot.
Similar behavioral issues seemed to follow me throughout elementary and middle school. How I navigated through it all, I can't say for sure. I made it to the other side, but if you asked me to recount the knowledge I gained, I'd draw a blank.
Seeing my brother, a model student who aced every exam and bagged every scholarship, only added to my distress. Although I wasn't failing, I wasn't at the top of my class either, and the emotional turmoil of just trying to keep up was indescribable. I chalked it up to me simply not being as intelligent as others and just accepted generalized anxiety, a good ol’ daily cry, and stress-induced IBS as a part of life.
My parents, perhaps not knowing any better, just accepted my fate. To this day, if the topic ever pops up, they’ll say I always had “a different kind of intelligence.” Now, despite how backhanded that sounds, they were referring to the fact that I was always more artistically inclined than my brother. Which is okay, I guess; not everyone has the same skillset, right?
But how I wish someone had recognized my struggles for what they truly were: the tell-tale signs of undiagnosed ADHD.
Growing up as a millennial, ADHD wasn't really a topic that came up in my school. The only thing we had to do was to shut up, sit still, and pay attention, or else risk failing the class. Funny thing, though, even when I did all those things, my mind was always on a field trip somewhere else. For a while, I'd sketch out what the teacher was saying. I'd create these intricate designs and images that helped stuff stick in my mind. But, sure enough, the teacher would snap at me to focus and quit doodling.
Eventually, I started doing this odd thing I only recently found out is called tickertaping. It's this phenomenon where you visualize the words you hear, speak, or think like subtitles in your head. As a visual learner, this helped me memorize things that otherwise would just slip through the cracks—especially when I wasn't allowed to doodle or write them down.
Overlooking an ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) diagnosis is just the beginning of a bigger struggle. Kids who show signs of ADHD, but aren't diagnosed, often get slapped with the "rebellious" or "problematic" label, which only makes things harder for them. Not to mention for girls, ADHD is severely underdiagnosed. Living with untreated ADHD affects much more than academic performance; it influences self-esteem, social functioning, career progression, and overall well-being.
In my case, even long after I entered the professional world, the lifelong struggle with academics manifested as bouts of depression, generalized anxiety, a list of stress-related health problems, and crippling imposter syndrome, all of which I have only recently begun to explore and to heal.
The coping strategies I came up with long before I was diagnosed—things like physical reminders everywhere, jam-packed calendars, neverending task checklists, noisy alarms, very strict routines, and various organizing gizmos—were my personal life savers in and out of the workplace. Funny enough, they all turned out to be textbook strategies for managing ADHD.
However, when the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted my meticulously organized routine, it all came crashing down.
Suddenly, my day-to-day structure vanished into thin air. I was wrestling with keeping myself on track, staying focused, seeing tasks through to the end, and the missing reassurance of routine check-ins at work. My stomach was back in knots from stress, and the daily meltdowns, wondering why I couldn’t just get stuff done, came back with a vengeance.
After having somewhat learned how to manage my still-unnamed ADHD, this sudden shift made me feel like I was losing it all over again. When I started to seriously question what was wrong with me, I finally decided to seek help. That's when my psychiatrist ultimately diagnosed me with ADHD, providing the long-awaited explanation for my struggles and how they manifested in my experience as a child.
Looking back at my childhood with the insights from my therapist got me thinking about the many children in our education system that were labeled 'rebellious', 'lazy', or simply 'medio burros' (not that bright.) How many of us went undiagnosed, fighting an uphill battle against a rigid school system ill-suited for neurodivergent individuals?
Photo by Caleb Oquendo: https://www.pexels.com/photo/boy-running-in-the-ha...
ADHD stigma is a real thing, especially within the Latino community. Despite presenting symptoms at similar rates to white individuals, Latinos and other people of color are far less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. And even when diagnosed, they aren't as likely to receive treatment. The larger picture reveals significant inequities in healthcare, particularly mental health care, where racial disparities persist.
Undiagnosed ADHD can sometimes lead to risky behavior, drug use, mood disorders, and a host of other serious consequences. The lack of diagnosis and treatment can genuinely change the trajectory of a person's life, particularly in communities that already face significant challenges.
You see, in our community, many still view mental health issues as taboo, and ADHD isn't immune to this stigma. Whether it's an abuela insisting that a child just needs more discipline or a parent attributing inattentiveness to laziness, these ingrained attitudes can mask the true struggle a child or even an adult is enduring.
What's worse, the stereotype of the hyperactive, disruptive boy has been so deeply engraved in our collective understanding of ADHD that we often overlook it in those who don't fit this mold, particularly in girls or adults. A kid lost in daydreams or an adult who's perpetually disorganized isn't seen as a possible ADHD case but rather someone who needs to "get their act together." This mindset can delay diagnosis and prevent the necessary help from reaching those in need.
In sharing my journey, which I'm still on, my hope is to shed light on the often overlooked corners of ADHD, especially within the Latino community. Remember, being a little more "rambunctious" or struggling in the conventional school system doesn't make anyone less bright or less capable. It's simply a different way of experiencing and interacting with the world.
ADHD is real, and it's not just a kids' thing or a TikTok trend. It’s about time we normalize these conversations and start acknowledging the hidden struggles many of us face. After all, understanding is the first step to acceptance and, ultimately, to a happier, healthier life.
So, if you see yourself or someone you know in my story, don't hesitate to seek help. There's a whole world of support out there waiting for you—and it's never too late.
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Image by expertbooksmuggler on Instagram
Image by expertbooksmuggler on Instagram
Reading books isn’t just a means of entertainment, escapism, or education, it can also be an act of activism. No political movement in history would’ve happened without educated people or a means to educate others and inspire action.
This is why many bookstores, libraries, and activists create and share reading lists to support movements. For example, with the ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people, Palestinian stories and authors are constantly being highlighted in bookish spaces to raise awareness and educate people. Efforts like #ReadPalestine week, organized by Publishers for Palestine, is just one example, but individual content creators also share recommendations.
In celebration of World Book Day, we discuss a few reasons why reading is and will always be political.
Stories are a reflection of reality and human experience
At no point in time have war, disease, hunger, poverty, racism, injustice, etc., not been a part of our reality and human experience. Authors know these things either in theory or because they’ve lived them themselves. As a result, they inform their stories and are reflected in them. This is how, as readers, we’re exposed to an incredibly diverse range of human experiences through the books we pick.
It doesn’t matter if the stories are based in the real world or fantasy worlds, writers write what they know. Their experiences and knowledge of the world are always found in the stories they create in one way or another, and isn’t everything in our lives either caused by or affected by politics? Politics are involved even in the books we don’t have access to, or limited access to, because book banning, despite constitutional amendments that were supposed to protect against that practice, still exists and is flourishing.
Authors pour political elements into their works, whether to expose an aspect of our reality for its ugliness or to reimagine it. For example, “The Hunger Games” books aren’t just about a young girl trying to save her little sister. They’re about totalitarian governments, genocide, political repression, poverty, surveillance, revolution, sacrifice to achieve societal change, and more.
Books offer political expression and inspire action
Political expression can be found in all kinds of books. Yes, even romance books. Love stories involve all kinds of characters and depict all kinds of relationships. They also reflect the qualities of ideal partners, which are highly influenced by society. Whether it’s people from different social classes falling in love, interracial relationships, and more, authors can and do explore social issues through their characters’ relationships.
Of course, political expression can be positive or negative. While stories can imagine a more just world to provide comfort and hope, perspective, or criticism of the issues that plague us, they can also reinforce, promote, or even seek to rationalize those issues.
Why? Because it doesn’t matter what the intention of the author is, reading is learning. Instead of learning to uphold harmful political views, values, beliefs, or even stereotypes, we should learn to challenge and dismantle them. What better way to do that than through books? Reading can make a difference in who we are and what we believe, being aware of that fact is a lot more productive than trying to separate reading from politics.
Image by bookedwithrook on Instagram
Image by bookedwithrook on Instagram
Therefore, banning a book that explores one aspect of a relationship while allowing books that explore another is, in and of itself, a form of selective indoctrination. The selection of books can teach us to uphold harmful political views, values, beliefs, and stereotypes while offering no other perspective that challenges any of these views.
Reading and politics: an unbreakable union
While reading is often done for entertainment or relaxation, many seek how to gain more empathy in books. Books allow us to explore experiences and perspectives that we wouldn’t otherwise have access to. That exposure can affect us deeply and inform the way we approach not only other people but also our contributions to society. Authoritarian regimes know this and have used book burning throughout history.
Today’s book banning is akin to piles of burned books reduced to ashes.
Books communicate things about their authors and the world as it was at the time they were written. The very act of choosing a book is political. For example, choosing to read books that champion diverse stories when the publishing world is so white can be a political act. While books can provide comfort, enjoyment, relief, joy, and more, they’re also one of the many ways we can use our agency to affect change.
Books are one of the many vehicles through which we exercise our power to influence our community. On this World Book Day, let’s think more critically about the kind of stories we consume and recommend to others, and let’s vow to use books to promote diverse experiences, understanding, kindness, and positive change.
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Now, at the time, it made perfect sense. Of course he’s bullying me because he likes me! Because “del odio al amor solo hay un paso,” everyone would say. And when I was younger, I would believe it. After all, every depiction of a romantic relationship I saw at the time seemed to confirm that a little bit of violence here and there was peak romanticism.
I remember watching the telenovela “Rebelde” and idolizing Mia Colucci and Miguel Arango’s relationship. It made me feel all fuzzy inside seeing them together. Since I’m a huge nostalgia junkie, I decided to go back and rewatch the entire thing again now that I’m 27. Needless to say, I was utterly impactada as I watched. What the heck, sis?! That dude literally tried to KILL YOU!
Miguel violently shakes and threatens to throw Mia off a cliff. Then, this doesn’t get addressed again for the entirety of the telenovela. Ok, cool.
Intrigued by the shocking revelations I was having by rewatching “Rebelde” and realizing Miguel is likely an undiagnosed sociopath or, at the very least, has some sort of psychological pathology going on, I began taking a closer look at all my teenage crushes, and it all started to make sense.
Ranging from possessive, manipulative douchebags that hide under the mask of being a “good guy” (I’m looking at you, Noah Calhoun from “The Notebook”) to gaslighting psychos that control your entire life and sneak into your room to watch you sleep without your consent (Edward Cullen from “Twilight” was in its own league, really), I realized I was doomed from the start if mainstream media for tweens like me at the time was my main source of information about the real world, which it totally was.
Conventionally attractive male characters who are controlling, jealous, or possessive are often depicted as “romantic” or “passionate” rather than abusive. At the same time, the women who are being mistreated may be shown as “putting up with it” for the sake of love. Add a bit of misinterpreted Catholicism into the mix with the idea that true love forgives and withstands everything and that, for some reason, it has to hurt, and we get a very distorted perception of what a healthy relationship looks like, which unknowingly led me to accept or excuse unhealthy behavior in my own relationships. It was all I ever saw.
Unequal power dynamics, where the man has control over a woman’s life in one way or another, like being their boss, teacher, a much older man, or someone with more money or influence than them, were painted as the ultimate love story. Take, for instance, Don Armando humiliating, abusing, and manipulating Beatriz Pinzón in “Yo Soy Betty, La Fea” only to end up with her, an outcome even the actor himself has said was absolutely wrong.
In reality, when one partner has more power than the other, they may use that power to control, manipulate, or dominate the other person. This inequality can quickly become physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse. Heck, the most blatant forms of abuse are even shown onscreen and STILL romanticized! In “Amor Real,” Manuel beats Matilde on more than one occasion, and they’re somehow still given a happy ever after. Are we going to address that or…? (TRIGGER WARNING)
Amor Real Manuel golpea a Matildewww.youtube.com
Trauma bonding is what happens when an individual becomes obsessed with their abuser, although it is never called that way or addressed at all in most depictions of abusive relationships. It's thought that being in a state of constant fear can result in an excessive release of opiates—a natural painkiller—in the brain. In turn, this state can cause feelings of euphoria or elation while also increasing endorphin production and decreasing adrenaline levels. As a result, victims may become so accustomed to their abuser's mistreatment that they develop a dependence on their continued presence in order to feel normal again. This is often confused with that wild, intense, passionate love we see onscreen. It's not love, it's trauma.
Considerable and often concerning age gaps were also heavily romanticized and supported by the fallacy that “women mature faster than men” to make it seem less creepy. I mean, no one batted an eye when Vivian Ward ended up with Edward Lewis, who is 18 years her senior, in “Pretty Woman.” And I could go on endlessly about the Hollywood age gap. These depictions can create a societal expectation that such relationships are normal and acceptable. They make it difficult for women in these types of relationships to recognize that there may be power imbalances at play. As Demi Lovato said in one of her latest songs:
“Thought it was a teenage dream, a fantasy.
But it was yours, it wasn’t mine.
Seventeen, twenty-nine.”
Unfortunately, after years of being brainwashed into watering myself down to cater to a male fantasy of an "ideal woman," I found out that abuse is not at all romantic the hard way; the way many women do, and some don’t even make it out alive. These skewed ideas of what love or passion looks like have taken years to unlearn, and despite making progress as a society toward identifying and calling out this toxic behavior, some of the most iconic onscreen couples still follow this harmful blueprint of abuse, Nate Jacobs and Maddy Pérez from “Euphoria” being the first that comes to mind.
It is essential to be critical of the media we consume and to remember that media portrayals of relationships are not always reflective of real-life relationships. Healthy relationships should be based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. If you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship, it’s important to seek help and support. This can include talking to a therapist or counselor, reaching out to a domestic violence hotline (but let’s remember that not all abusive behavior is physically violent), or confiding in your closest friends or family members.
Just remember that you deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship and that help is always available.
