You know that guy who’s always super nice, always there to help, always complimenting you? Sometimes, these “nice guys” aren’t as genuine as they seem. In some cases, they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. To help you avoid these toxic dudes, let’s discuss 10 signs that the “nice guy” in your life might just be a faker. Here’s how to spot those red flags and protect your precious peace:
He’s always talking about how nice he is
You already know what we're going to say about this... A genuinely nice person doesn’t need to keep reminding you how nice they are. If he’s constantly saying, “I’m such a nice guy,” or constantly reminding you of the "nice things" he's always doing for you, it’s probably because he’s trying to convince you (and maybe himself). Nice people don't need to come out and say they're nice, they just let their behavior speak for them.
He expects to be rewarded for being a good human being
Have you ever noticed that he expects something in return every time he does something nice? Whether it’s a favor, a date, or even more, this is a major red flag. Nice deeds should come from the heart, not from a place of expecting something in return. If he's using his niceness as currency, girl, get away from that man.
He won’t take no for an answer
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When the “nice guy” doesn’t get what he wants, does he keep pushing? If he keeps asking you out or anything else even after you’ve said no, he’s not respecting your boundaries. A truly nice guy will respect your decisions instead of trying to pressure you into doing something you've already said you don't want to do. It's really that simple!
He’s passive-aggressive
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Does he sulk or get passive-aggressive when things don’t go his way? Maybe he gives you the silent treatment or makes snide remarks and hides them as “jokes.” Whatever the case may be, this kind of behavior is manipulative and very far from anyone’s idea of “nice.”
He talks badly about other women
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Pay attention to how the “nice guy” talks about other women, especially his exes. If he’s constantly badmouthing them and blaming them for everything, not only is it a sign he will talk about you that way eventually, but it's also a sign he doesn't respect women as much as he claims he does. If the nice guy is only kind to women he's interested in or "has a shot" with, he's not that nice, is he?
He’s good at playing the victim
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When things don’t go his way, does the “nice guy” act like the world is against him? Does he make you feel guilty for not catering to his every need? This manipulative tactic is designed to make you feel sorry for him and bend to his will. After all, he’s so nice, why doesn't he deserve everything he asks for?
He’s nice to get what he wants
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When a “nice guy” is actually faking, it’s easy to notice a pattern: he’s only nice when he wants to get something out of it. Does he turn on the charm only when he wants something? Whether it’s getting you to do him a favor or trying to move the relationship forward faster than you’re comfortable with, this is a clear sign he’s not genuinely nice.
He can’t handle rejection
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When the fake nice guy is rejected, he doesn’t take it well. Whether he’s rejected by you or others, pay attention to how he reacts. Does he lash out and try to guilt-trip people? If so, he’s not an actual nice guy. Nice men handle rejection with grace and respect because they’re not entitled and understand that rejection is a normal part of life.
He tries to change you
Photo by Alison Leedham
Does he buy you gifts that don’t fit your style or make comments about how you should dress or behave under the guise of “giving you advice”? This isn’t generosity or niceness; it’s just an attempt to mold you into someone you’re not. A genuinely nice guy will like you for who you are, not for who he wants you to be.
He badmouths other men to make himself look good
If the “nice guy” constantly puts others down to elevate himself, that’s a major red flag. This behavior is a sign of insecurity and a need for validation. Plus, a genuinely nice person uplifts people rather than tearing them down. If your “nice guy” is particularly critical of other men, especially men you’re friends with, when there’s no reason to be, he could be trying to make you doubt them as well.
Navigating the dating world can be tricky, but recognizing these signs can help you spot the “nice guy” who isn’t actually nice. Remember, a truly nice guy shows his kindness through respect, genuine actions, and understanding. Trust your instincts, and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve!
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