10 Signs The “Nice Guy” Isn’t Actually Nice

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Photo by Horacio Rojas

You know that guy who’s always super nice, always there to help, always complimenting you? Sometimes, these “nice guys” aren’t as genuine as they seem. In some cases, they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. To help you avoid these toxic dudes, let’s discuss 10 signs that the “nice guy” in your life might just be a faker. Here’s how to spot those red flags and protect your precious peace:


He’s always talking about how nice he is

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You already know what we're going to say about this... A genuinely nice person doesn’t need to keep reminding you how nice they are. If he’s constantly saying, “I’m such a nice guy,” or constantly reminding you of the "nice things" he's always doing for you, it’s probably because he’s trying to convince you (and maybe himself). Nice people don't need to come out and say they're nice, they just let their behavior speak for them.

He expects to be rewarded for being a good human being

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Have you ever noticed that he expects something in return every time he does something nice? Whether it’s a favor, a date, or even more, this is a major red flag. Nice deeds should come from the heart, not from a place of expecting something in return. If he's using his niceness as currency, girl, get away from that man.

He won’t take no for an answer

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When the “nice guy” doesn’t get what he wants, does he keep pushing? If he keeps asking you out or anything else even after you’ve said no, he’s not respecting your boundaries. A truly nice guy will respect your decisions instead of trying to pressure you into doing something you've already said you don't want to do. It's really that simple!

He’s passive-aggressive

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Does he sulk or get passive-aggressive when things don’t go his way? Maybe he gives you the silent treatment or makes snide remarks and hides them as “jokes.” Whatever the case may be, this kind of behavior is manipulative and very far from anyone’s idea of “nice.”

He trashes other women

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Pay attention to how the “nice guy” talks about other women, especially his exes. If he’s constantly badmouthing them and blaming them for everything, not only is it a sign he will talk about you that way eventually, but it's also a sign he doesn't respect women as much as he claims he does. If the nice guy is only kind to women he's interested in or "has a shot" with, he's not that nice, is he?

He’s good at playing the victim

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When things don’t go his way, does the “nice guy” act like the world is against him? Does he make you feel guilty for not catering to his every need? This manipulative tactic is designed to make you feel sorry for him and bend to his will. After all, he’s so nice, why doesn't he deserve everything he asks for?

He’s nice to get what he wants

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When a “nice guy” is actually faking, it’s easy to notice a pattern: he’s only nice when he wants to get something out of it. Does he turn on the charm only when he wants something? Whether it’s getting you to do him a favor or trying to move the relationship forward faster than you’re comfortable with, this is a clear sign he’s not genuinely nice.

He can’t handle rejection

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When the fake nice guy is rejected, he doesn’t take it well. Whether he’s rejected by you or others, pay attention to how he reacts. Does he lash out and try to guilt-trip people? If so, he’s not an actual nice guy. Nice men handle rejection with grace and respect because they’re not entitled and understand that rejection is a normal part of life.

He tries to change you

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Does he buy you gifts that don’t fit your style or make comments about how you should dress or behave under the guise of “giving you advice”? This isn’t generosity or niceness; it’s just an attempt to mold you into someone you’re not. A genuinely nice guy will like you for who you are, not for who he wants you to be.

He badmouths other men to make himself look good

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If the “nice guy” constantly puts others down to elevate himself, that’s a major red flag. This behavior is a sign of insecurity and a need for validation. Plus, a genuinely nice person uplifts people rather than tearing them down. If your “nice guy” is particularly critical of other men, especially men you’re friends with, when there’s no reason to be, he could be trying to make you doubt them as well.

Navigating the dating world can be tricky, but recognizing these signs can help you spot the “nice guy” who isn’t actually nice. Remember, a truly nice guy shows his kindness through respect, genuine actions, and understanding. Trust your instincts, and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve!

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

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Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).