In The Community
Set Realistic Expectations
Photo by Inés Castellano on UnsplashLet’s be real: not every family gathering is going to look like a Hallmark movie. And that’s okay! Accept that some conversations might get awkward, someone will probably burn a dish, and your uncle might still bring up politics. Remind yourself that perfection isn’t the goal—connection is.
Take Breaks When You Need Them
Photo by Flipsnack on UnsplashFamily gatherings can be overstimulating, especially if there’s a lot of noise or you’re around people for an extended time. It’s perfectly okay to step outside for fresh air, find a quiet room to decompress, or even take a short walk. Taking a breather doesn’t make you rude—it makes you human.
Practice Deep Breathing or Grounding Techniques
Photo by kevin turcios on UnsplashWhen anxiety starts creeping in, your breath can be your best friend. Try the 4-7-8 method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Or use grounding techniques like naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. These simple practices can help bring you back to the present moment.
Know Your Triggers (and Have a Plan)
Photo by Rajiv Perera on UnsplashDoes your aunt always comment on your life choices? Does the chaos of kids running around overwhelm you? Identifying what triggers your anxiety beforehand can help you prepare. For instance, if certain topics stress you out, rehearse a polite way to change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.
Limit Alcohol and Caffeine
Photo by Zest Tea on UnsplashIt’s tempting to reach for that extra glass of wine or cup of coffee, but both can heighten anxiety. Alcohol might make you feel relaxed at first, but it can amplify feelings of stress later. Stick to water, herbal tea, or mocktails to keep your energy and emotions steady.
Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
Photo by Joel Muniz on UnsplashBoundaries are your holiday MVP. If you’re not up for answering personal questions, it’s okay to politely shut them down. A simple “I’d rather not talk about that, but tell me about your latest trip!” can work wonders. You don’t have to share or engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Have an Exit Strategy
Photo by Andrew Neel on UnsplashIf the gathering feels too overwhelming, it’s okay to leave early or skip certain events altogether. Let the host know in advance if you might need to cut out early, and plan your departure so you feel in control. There’s no shame in protecting your peace.
Focus on What You Can Control
Photo by Caique Nascimento on UnsplashYou can’t control how others behave, but you can control how you respond. Focus on enjoying the parts of the gathering that bring you joy—like catching up with a favorite cousin, enjoying a slice of pie, or soaking in the festive atmosphere. Shifting your focus to what you love about the season can help ease anxiety.
Family gatherings might never be 100% stress-free, but they don’t have to drive you up the wall either. By setting boundaries, taking breaks, and prioritizing your mental health, you can navigate holiday get-togethers in a way that feels good for you. So, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: you’ve got this.
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What is self-intimacy?
Normally when we think of intimacy, we think of relationships with partners or sex. Self-intimacy can take the form of many things, but we’re viewing it as a form of radical self-care to reflect on your inner thoughts and emotions regarding who you are and the joy you feel about where you are in life.
Self-intimacy can be painful, as it requires taking the time to become more aware of your feelings and taking part in acts of service to care about those feelings. It’s not easy because it requires you to face your demons and challenge the unhealthy behaviors you might use as a coping mechanism for the things that don’t bring you joy in life.
Investing in self-intimacy is important to be able to understand your relationship with yourself and also with the people and things around you. It’s an important part of being a partner since it helps you learn more about yourself and express your findings with your loved ones.
Becoming comfortable with feeling how you feel enables you to tap into those reservoirs of self-love you might not even be aware you’re capable of having. No, this doesn’t mean becoming obsessed with yourself (although, why not?), but rather being able to recognize your own emotions and act in service of those emotions to make yourself happy. This includes taking a step back to assess a situation and your feelings towards it before reacting, enabling you to do better and be better in relation to yourself as well as others.
Mila Kunis GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIt also means recognizing toxic patterns of behavior and implementing acts to break them, as well as setting boundaries within relationships. Ask yourself questions such as “Do I enjoy being with these people?” and “Am I allowing myself to really connect with others to be treated the way I’d like to be treated?” These might be hard to confront but ultimately result in your understanding of the love you deserve and accept into your life. Knowing you’re worthy of quality love enables you to attract it in all aspects.
Being vulnerable with yourself allows you to be more vulnerable with others. Being honest with yourself will allow you to be more honest with others. Meditate on questions centered around your solitude – do you like being alone? Are you comfortable with it? Are you empowered by your own presence? If not, you could be having issues spending time with yourself, which is always a no-go. Feeling comfortable alone without feeling lonely is an empowering emotion that only enables you to value the company of others even more.
Self-intimacy also allows you to learn more about what empowers you and makes you feel like a confident, sexy person. Sexy meaning being someone that excites you and arouses all the right parts of you – you really can do all bad by yourself, we promise! Confidence like this will allow you to discover your true sexual energy and what you like.
In short, self-intimacy is sitting with yourself to know more about who you are. Understanding that you’re worthy of love, worthy of knowing yourself to be better, feeling confident, and discovering your sexual energy are all worth looking into! You got this, mija!
Treat Yourself Donna Meagle GIF by Parks and Recreation - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyHow can I practice self-intimacy in my day-to-day?
Ready to nurture and pamper your inner self every day? Here's your essential checklist to keep handy:
- Redefine Intimacy: Think beyond romance. Picture self-intimacy as a transformative journey of self-discovery, shedding light on your inner world.
- Embrace the Emotional Workout: Like spring cleaning for the soul, sort through your feelings. Keep the joy, toss the junk.
- Invest in Your Inner World: It’s emotional homework that pays off big time. The better you know yourself, the richer your connections with others become.
- Own Your Emotions: Understand and navigate life from a space of clarity. Pause, reflect, and act with intention.
- Break Self-Sabotage: Identify patterns that hold you back. Do you vibe with your circle? Are you settling for less than you deserve?
- Ask the Tough Questions: Dive deep. Ponder about solitude – is it comforting or unnerving? Find peace in your own company to deepen connections with others.
- Raw & Real = Golden: Honesty with yourself is a direct path to forming genuine connections with others.
- Find Your Sexy: No, not just that kind. The confidence, the energy, the magnetic pull that says you’re the lead in your life’s story.
- Discover the Joy of Solitude: Recognize the beauty of being content in your own company. That peace makes shared moments even more special.
- Celebrate Yourself: At the end of the day, self-intimacy is about realizing you’re kind of a big deal. Dive in, and discover the magic that’s uniquely you. Cheers to the journey!
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Timing Is Everything
Photo by Emily Toycen on UnsplashSAD is seasonal—hence the name. SAD symptoms typically start in late fall or early winter and fade as spring rolls around. For some, the reverse happens, with symptoms showing up in the summer (though that’s less common). Depression, on the other hand, doesn’t follow a seasonal pattern. The symptoms can occur at any time of the year and it might not have a clear start or end point. This is the biggest difference between the two.
The Sunlight Connection
Photo by Church of the King on UnsplashSAD is also heavily linked to the amount of sunlight you’re getting—or not getting. Shorter days and longer nights mess with your body’s internal clock (it’s that circadian rhythm stuff) and can throw off melatonin and serotonin levels out of whack. While external factors can influence depression, it isn’t specifically tied to sunlight exposure. So if you feel your mood taking a dive as your access to the sun is more limited, that’s seasonal depression for you.
Energy Levels Going Downhill
Photo by Mel Elías on UnsplashWith SAD, fatigue is often a hallmark symptom. People who experience seasonal depression often feel sluggish, sleepy, and drained, even after a full night’s rest. It’s like you’re in a constant state of hibernation mode. Depression is also known to cause fatigue, but it’s different in that it often causes restlessness or insomnia. This might make people feel like they’re too wired to sleep but too tired to function. The difference? SAD tends to make you want to crawl under a blanket and stay there, while depression can feel more like a mental tug-of-war with your energy.
Cravings and Weight Changes
Photo by Denny Müller on UnsplashHello, carbs! People with SAD often crave comfort foods like bread, pasta, and sweets. These cravings can lead to weight gain during the winter months. With depression, changes in appetite can go either way. Some people lose their appetite entirely, while others turn to food for comfort.
The Treatment Options Are Different
Photo by Alex Green
Light therapy is one of the most common ways to treat seasonal depression. Sitting in front of a lightbox for 20-30 minutes a day can help mimic natural sunlight and boost your mood. When it comes to depression, treatment usually involves therapy, medication, or a combination of both. While light therapy might help in some cases, it’s not a go-to treatment for non-seasonal depression.
The Duration Will Vary
Photo by OC Gonzalez on UnsplashSymptoms of seasonal depression typically last for about 4-5 months, aligning with the darker months of the year. By contrast, depression can last for months or even years if untreated, with no clear end point. It’s a matter of being aware of how you’re feeling and talking to a professional who can guide you in the process of feeling like yourself again.
Diagnosis and Labels Are Completely Different
Photo by Alex Green
SAD is actually a subtype of depression called Major Depressive Disorder with Seasonal Pattern. Think of it as depression’s seasonal spin-off. Depression is a broader diagnosis that includes several subtypes, like persistent depressive disorder, postpartum depression, and more. Understanding the specifics can help you (and your doctor) figure out what’s going on and how to treat it.
What Should You Do Now?
Photo by Jeff Stapleton
Whether it’s SAD or depression, the important thing to remember is that both are real, valid, and treatable. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, talk to a doctor or therapist. They can help you figure out what’s happening and create a plan to feel better.
At the end of the day, your mental health matters. Whether it’s winter blues or something deeper, taking steps to care for yourself is the best way to reclaim your joy—even on the darkest days.
The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment.
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