In The Community
Women Mature Faster Than Men
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels
Ah, the age-old notion that "women mature faster than men." We've all heard it, and it's often used to justify relationships with significant age gaps or to excuse men's childish behaviors.
Sure, there might be some scientific validity to the idea. Studies show that certain parts of the female brain might develop faster than in males. But maturity isn't just about physical development. It's a complex blend of emotional, intellectual, and social growth.
When we reduce maturity to a simple gender-based comparison, we miss the bigger picture. People mature at different rates, regardless of their gender. Some men might show incredible emotional intelligence and social skills at a young age, while some women might take more time to develop those traits.
Using this stereotype to justify age gaps in relationships or to make sure women assume their caretaker roles at a young age is unfair. It perpetuates outdated gender roles and limits our understanding of what true maturity really means.
Maturity is a personal journey unique to each individual. It's not something that can be defined by a one-size-fits-all statement.
Your Biological Clock is Ticking
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels
This is a popular phrase mostly directed at women. It's often a warning about declining fertility as we age. And while there is some truth to the biological realities, let's explore the bigger picture.
Firstly, this phrase puts undue pressure on women, as if their sole purpose is tied to having children. Secondly, it's not just women who face fertility challenges with age. Men's fertility also declines, and it can affect a child's health too - with recent studies showing that while women continue to be screened in pregnancy for genetic abnormalities like Down Syndrome, it turns out that at much as 20% of Down Syndrome abnormalities can now be traced to aging sperm.
Everyone's fertility journey is different. Some women are most fertile in their early 20s, while others may have more time. According to some experts, fertility starts to decline after age 32 and becomes more challenging after 37. For men, fertility can begin to decrease in their 40s.
The idea of a "biological clock" mainly refers to the challenge of getting pregnant later in life. However, it also symbolizes the psychological pressure some feel when they haven't had a child by a certain age.
Thankfully, advancements in reproductive health care offer more choices. Fertility treatments like egg freezing allow women to preserve their eggs for the future, giving them more control over their family planning.
Needless to say, the decision of when to have a child is deeply personal. External pressures, such as career and relationships, can influence this decision. But ultimately, it's about what feels right for you, both physically and mentally. Whether it's having children early, later, or not at all, what matters most is that we make these decisions on our terms, and now, with the help of science, on our timelines.
Men Cheat More Than Women Because It's Just "In their Nature"
Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels
This idea suggests that men are biologically wired to be unfaithful as if it's some instinct ingrained in them since ancient times.
There might have been some evolutionary factors in play in the long distant past, but our behaviors today are far more complex than simple survival instincts. Luckily, we've come a long way from our hunter-gatherer days, and society has evolved with us.
Infidelity is influenced by a range of individual, relational, and societal factors, not just gender. Saying that cheating is "in their nature" takes away personal responsibility and normalizes hurtful actions. It perpetuates the harmful stereotype that men are slaves to their sexual urges, which is far from the truth.
Humans, regardless of gender, have the ability to make thoughtful choices and practice self-control.
Women are More Emotional Than Men
Psychology research tells us that emotions are a universal human experience. Men feel emotions just as intensely as women do. The real difference lies in how emotions are expressed and processed, and this is shaped by societal norms and expectations.
For example, men may be less likely to openly express their feelings due to the pressures of traditional masculinity. Society often tells them that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. This myth restricts emotional freedom and expression for everyone, not just women.
The idea that 'real men' don't cry or express emotions is harmful. Emotional vulnerability is not a weakness; it's a natural part of being human. Suppressing emotions can negatively impact mental health and prevent men from seeking help or sharing their feelings.
This stereotype also connects to the myth that women can’t be leaders because they’re “too emotional.” It suggests that women are incapable of making rational decisions due to their emotions. But this is far from the truth.
Women have proven themselves as effective leaders in various fields, from politics to business. In fact, studies show that women often excel in leadership skills like collaboration, empathy, and multitasking. Emotions can enhance leadership by promoting understanding and effective communication. In any case, they’re a strength, not a weakness.
Women are Naturally More Nurturing, Men are Naturally More Aggressive
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels
These outdated stereotypes have long been used to justify harmful beliefs rooted in machismo and marianismo. In countless instances within Latino families, women have been unjustly burdened with enduring any form of abuse from men (with the excuse that men are incapable of controlling themselves), all in the name of maintaining family unity.
The idea that women are naturally more nurturing is often tied to the expectation that they should be caretakers and mothers. While it's true that certain hormones like oxytocin promote bonding behaviors, men also produce these hormones. The difference in nurturing behavior is more about societal expectations than biology. Men can be just as loving and caring as women, and many thrive in caregiving roles.
Similarly, the belief that men are naturally more aggressive due to testosterone is an oversimplification. Yes, testosterone can influence aggression, but it's not the sole determinant. Aggressive behavior is shaped by a combination of factors, including upbringing, social environment, and individual temperament. Testosterone levels can vary greatly among men, and many with high levels do not exhibit increased aggression. On the other hand, women, who typically have lower testosterone levels, can and do exhibit aggressive behaviors too.
Photo by Jonathan Cosens Photography on Pexels
These myths not only limit our understanding of human behavior but perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes.
So yes, there are biological differences between men and women, but that doesn't mean we should buy into harmful myths and stereotypes. It's crucial to think critically and stay informed to break free from restrictive gender roles. When it comes to growing up, expressing emotions, fertility, or wanting to become parents, everyone is different.
Generalizations can oversimplify and misunderstand the richness of our human experiences, and create easy scapegoats to keep shifting blame in defense and support of the patriarchy.
- Why Is Adulting Optional for Men But Expected for Women? ›
- Have Novelas Helped Normalize Toxic Relationships? ›
Not enough tortillas
Whether you’re of Mexican descent or a Latino who loves good Mexican food, you already know there’s never enough tortillas. You could be enjoying a burrito bowl, fajitas, huevos rancheros, or any other dish and the moment you run out of tortillas, the sadness just hits and “cries in Spanish” encompasses it perfectly. The good news is there are usually more tortillas around, so this isn’t an insurmountable issue.
The joy of bakery smells
It’s a truth universally accepted by Latinos that the smells that hit your nostrils when you enter a panadería (bakery) must be inhaled. We think it’s hard to find a person who doesn’t love the smell of freshly baked bread and other delicious treats. Not enjoying it to the fullest is just depriving yourself of one of life’s small joys.
Chisme is life
Whether you’re sitting with your family or your friends when the chisme (gossip) starts pouring, very few Latinos can help themselves from listening in. It doesn’t matter if you know the people involved or not, being there for the tea spill is always entertaining. When you were young, it was particularly great because it made you feel so grown up to hear what the tías (aunts) were up to.
Saving every plastic bag
Latinos have been practicing the sustainable habit of keeping every single plastic bag for reuse since time immemorial. We’re pretty sure almost every Latino household has a plastic bag full of plastic bags stored somewhere, and they come in quite handy. Mostly, they’re reused as trash bags, but they also make good shower caps. If you’re a Latina, you know that plastic bags are very useful when you’re doing hair hydration treatments at home and you don’t want to waste money on shower caps that will stretch after you use them twice.
La Rosa de Guadalupe effect
“La Rosa de Guadalupe” is a Mexican catholic anthology series where each episode explores themes like addiction, domestic abuse, violence, bullying, and more. The Virgin of Guadalupe always intervenes and there’s always a lesson to each story. It’s a moralist, low-budget show, but Mexican kids and Latinos overall grew up watching it in the late 2000s because it’s so bad, it’s good. However, our parents definitely took it seriously. Whenever a kid got in trouble in “La Rosa de Guadalupe” for disobeying their parents or doing something they weren’t supposed to, Latina moms would go “You see?! This is what I tell you!” We’ve all been there.
Being able to handle your spice
One thing about Latinos is that they know how to handle their spice, so if you have white friends who aren’t used to the Latino fire, you’ve been in this situation. It feels like a superpower and it’s always kind of funny. Of course, not every Latino loves spice or can handle it well, but for those who do, this meme is as real as it gets.
No sleepover for Latino kids
Whether you were born in the U.S. or your parents immigrated when you were young, you likely experienced a few cultural shocks. For one, there’s no way your Latino parents let you go to any sleepovers. Sleeping in a house full of strangers? Out of the question. While American parents are perfectly okay with that and sleepovers are a quintessential experience for American kids, Latino parents trust no one with their offspring.
Flip flops mean a whole other thing to Latinos
Flip flops may be “indispensable beach accessories” to every other person, but to Latino kids, they mean something different. As the meme says, they’re “attack of defense weapons” when you’re dealing with siblings or bugs, but when that chancleta was in mom’s hand, things got serious real quick. It was either a warning sign to behave or it was flying directly at your head if mom was on her last nerve. Either way, you knew you made a mistake!
The holy trinity of Latino health
While not having insurance is a serious issue among Latinos in the U.S. and not a laughing matter, this particular meme is impossible not to laugh at because it’s true! We grew up thinking that VapoRub, Sprite, and a good chicken or beef soup could cure anything. Honestly, it’s pretty effective when you have the flu. It’s also effective when you’re hungover (minus the VapoRub in that case), so this trio is not without its merits. It’s not as good as insurance, though, that’s for certain.
Switching to Spanish means things got real
Again, it’s funny because it’s true! When your family switches to Spanish, you know that the argument went from calm and collected to fully emotional. English is not enough to express the breadth of Latinos’ emotions sometimes, especially when they have a point to prove. When the switch happens, it’s definitely when the fun begins if you’re a spectator just enjoying the chisme. It’s not as fun if you’re involved in the argument…
Video games, once seen as a pastime exclusively for children, have grown into a multi-billion-dollar industry with a vast adult demographic. Over the years, games have evolved, becoming a legitimate form of art and entertainment for adults. For many men, this evolution has made it socially acceptable to continue gaming well into adulthood.
Similarly, collecting action figures, Legos, or other childhood memorabilia is often seen as a harmless and even endearing hobby for many adult men. It's viewed as an avenue for nostalgia and a bridge to one’s younger self.
Women, on the other hand, face more rigid expectations. Activities or interests deemed "childish" are seen as immaturity or an inability to grow up. A woman who collects dolls or still enjoys a children's show might even be made fun of. The societal narrative suggests that women should transition from playing with toys to nurturing real children, and those who don’t follow this path are looked upon with skepticism.
These gendered norms, when placed within the context of Latine culture, become even more pronounced. Latine culture, rich in tradition, places a strong emphasis on family values and roles. Often, Latinas are expected to become the backbone of the family, taking on caregiving roles, and preparing to be mothers. The concept of "marianismo" – the idea that Latinas should be virtuous, sacrificing, and motherly, emulating the Virgin Mary – illustrates this perfectly.
Photo by Polesie Toys: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-girl-in-red-long-sleeve-dress-holding-a-baby-doll-toy-4491692/
Thus, a Latina woman showing interest in what society deems as "childish" might face stronger pushback than her counterparts in other cultures. The expectation is for her to mature quickly, often at the expense of her individual passions and interests.
Navigating societal expectations is a challenging maze that seems to expand with each turn. However, the question remains: Why should society dictate which childhood hobbies are deemed appropriate to continue into adulthood, all based on our gender?
These activities, often dismissed as 'childish,' can be therapeutic outlets that allow us to destress, express creativity, and maintain a sense of continuity in our lives. They're an echo of simpler times, bringing a sense of joy and comfort that can serve as a counterweight to adult pressures and responsibilities. In essence, there should be no guilt or shame attached to enjoying what we love, regardless of our age or gender. Let's not forget that self-care isn't just about diet, exercise, or meditation—it's also about allowing ourselves to partake in activities that bring us happiness and inner peace.
The hope is for a future where individuals' passions and interests are celebrated and encouraged, irrespective of their age, gender, or cultural background, where men and women alike can enjoy their love for video games, toys, or any other 'childish' pastime without fear of judgment or societal scorn.
After all, who said growing up means leaving behind the things that once brought joy?
- Women Mature Faster and Other Gender Myths: The Truth Behind Popular Beliefs ›
- Machismo and Marianismo: What's the Difference? ›
- Can Latino Fathers Redefine Masculinity and Overcome Machismo? ›
