Latino Toxic Gratitude: How Much Gratitude is Too Much?

Few words are as prominent as “gratitude,” especially in the Latino community. We’re constantly reminded to be grateful for everything we have. While the practice is encouraged as a habit for improved mental health, and it’s indeed important to be grateful, there are healthy limits to how grateful one should be. Enter toxic gratitude, which isn’t defined by a genuine sense of thankfulness, but by a sense of forced obligation.

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There isn’t much research about toxic gratitude amongst Latinos, but culturally speaking, it’s not uncommon for both non-U.S.-born and U.S.-born Latinos to be discouraged from asking for what they actually deserve in the workplace, or be told not to make any waves to avoid potential problems in all aspects of life, particularly when faced by mistreatment or injustice. 

Where does the Latino gratitude problem come from, and how does it negatively impact Latino social, economic, and personal progress?

The Toxic Gratitude Problem

The difference between gratitude and toxic gratitude lies in intention. Where gratitude comes naturally, stemming from a genuine sense of thankfulness, toxic gratitude is something we force on ourselves to either suppress negative emotions or ignore real problems. For example, imagine a Latino in the corporate world who has been climbing that ladder. Lately, they’ve been working themselves even further to the bone because they’re aiming for a coveted promotion. 

When the time comes, the promotion goes to a white co-worker who happens to be well-connected and hasn’t put in even half the work. That would make anyone feel frustrated, angry, exhausted, and sad. In turn, these emotions would make anyone want to take action, like talking to the manager or even considering looking for a job in a better company. 

Instead of feeling those emotions and potentially taking action, the voice in their head goes: “Everything happens for a reason, I should just be grateful for what I have. Thank God I even have a job.” While that’s a seemingly harmless thought, it’s a form of self-repression. Not only are they telling themselves that it’s not okay to feel how they feel, but they’re also talking themselves out of advocating for what they know they deserve.

That voice in their head has probably been nurtured by Latino parents and grandparents, who taught them to work hard, but also to keep their heads down. This is one of many values Latinos are taught, but are they helpful in every context? If Latinos are always taking things on the chin instead of standing up for themselves when it counts, how can change ever be made?

Toxic Gratitude in the Face of Hostility

While conversations about gratitude are often centered around individual well-being and workplace advancement, there’s a broader and more urgent context that can’t be ignored: the reality that Latinos in the United States are facing escalating hostility and attacks. In 2022, according to the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism, hate crimes against Latinos increased by 2.8% from 2021 to 2022. This trend continued in 2023. 

According to the FBI’s 2024 Hate Crimes Report, there were 11,862 hate crime incidents reported to the FBI in 2023, a 2% increase from 2022, which saw 11,634 reported incidents. This is the highest number of hate crime incidents recorded by the FBI since they began collecting data in 1991, and 52.5% of those hate crimes were motivated by race, ethnicity, or ancestry. In the last 5 years, the FBI Crime Data Explorer shows that there were 2,842 hate crimes committed against Latinos. 

Despite this hostile climate, a deeply ingrained expectation of gratitude continues to shape the way many Latinos respond to these injustices. This is toxic gratitude at its most insidious. It’s not just an internalized sense of “being lucky” to be in the U.S., but an external pressure that can silence and delegitimize legitimate concerns. When Latinos are told (explicitly or implicitly) to focus on blessings rather than injustices, it fosters an environment where it feels wrong to protest, report, or even name acts of discrimination and violence. This dynamic can discourage Latinos from reporting hate crimes, advocating for safer policies, or demanding equitable treatment in schools, neighborhoods, and workplaces.

Unfortunately, toxic gratitude can also be wielded as a societal tool: whenever Latinos raise their voices about systemic racism, wage gaps, or threats to safety, they are sometimes met with responses such as, “You should be grateful to be here—others have it worse,” or “If you don’t like it, you can leave.” These sentiments reinforce power structures that benefit from Latino silence, and they echo historical patterns where gratitude is expected from those who are marginalized, regardless of how they are treated. 

For example, in her book, “The Warmth of Other Suns”, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Isabel Wilkerson writes about Black migrants from the Jim Crow South being told to “be thankful” for any job, home, public accommodation, or whatever limited opportunities or freedoms they were allowed. Recognizing these forces is crucial for both personal and collective empowerment. Genuine gratitude should never require anyone to accept injustice, minimize their suffering, or stay silent in the face of danger. 

Where Does the Latino Gratitude Problem Stem From?

We consider that there are two main reasons for the Latino gratitude problem. One reason is catholicism, which is the main religion in Latin America and in Latino communities around the world. While the number of Latinos without religious affiliations is growing, Catholics are still the largest religious group among Latinos in the U.S., according to an AP poll.

One of the core tenets of catholicism is that suffering is redemptive and it leads to salvation. With catholicism being so ingrained in Latino culture, Latinos are taught to believe that suffering isn’t a bad thing, it’s something to be offered to God, and good things may come of it. 

Another reason is that most Latinos, especially Latino immigrants who have moved to the U.S. or other countries in search of a better life, generally know how much worse things can be. “Other people have it much worse than I,” or “At least my situation is not as bad as someone else’s” are common thoughts, but they diminish valid lived experiences.

It’s also the case that, most of the time, everything Latinos accomplish is hard-won. Latinos in the U.S. have to work harder for the same opportunities, and that’s particularly true for Latinas. It’s understandable that, given all that hard work, Latinos don’t want to fall into victimhood by whining about the things they don’t get or achieve. This is also something they learn from their parents and grandparents. However, it’s not victimhood if Latinos are consistently underpaid and unrecognized for their contributions.

Latino Toxic Gratitude is a Personal and Community Disservice

With our “keep your head down” attitude, which is fueled by toxic gratitude beliefs, we’re actually being complicit with the systems that are keeping Latinos on the sidelines. There’s always room for genuine gratitude in our lives, and practicing gratitude is, indeed, an empowering habit. However, it’s essential to recognize toxic gratitude and the ways in which it disables us from advocating for ourselves when we have to, making necessary demands, and asking for more than scraps.

By looking out for ourselves and challenging the status quo, we can uplift the entire community and be a catalyst for change. Our Latino parents and grandparents have taught us many powerful values, but the Latino gratitude problem is one that requires correction. It doesn’t serve us as well as we’re taught to believe it does. The sooner we open our eyes to that fact, the sooner we’ll be able to make much-needed mindset changes that will drive us forward rather than keep us in place.