Carmen Rita Wong's Critically Acclaimed "Why Didn't You Tell Me?" is More than Just a Memoir

an image of a book cover is next to a woman wearing a white blouse looking at the camera
courtesy of Carmen Rita Wong

Carmen Rita Wong is no stranger to media and being in the spotlight, but the release of her new memoir titled Why Didn’t You Tell Me? forced the author to step past her discomfort and into her truth in ways she hadn't done before.


This former podcast host, non-profit leader, and money expert takes the reader on a personal deep dive into a period of growth unseen by many successful women. Luz spoke with Wong about her latest book, an engaging read about growing up Dominican-Chinese while finding her place in the world and, ultimately, in her own family.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and flow.

LM: If you had to describe the book without using official summaries, what would you say is the essence of what the book is about?

CW: The essence is about being very, truly human. It’s about family secrets; mothers and daughters; generational trauma; the psychology of resilience; American immigrant history; racial identity, and cultural identity. It’s also about how to understand and have empathy for your parents, even when they’ve caused so much pain. And, how to keep going, no matter what.

LM: The title is pretty self-explanatory after you read the summary so we know what this means for you, but what do you think the reader can also gain from reading your journey of self re-discovery?

CW: My readers can know that you are not alone in both your suffering and your success. Our stories aren’t told enough and that means sometimes we can feel like no one understands what you’re going through. Here, you can witness my path and take strength and hope from how I made it through and how you will too. And maybe I can bring peace to some mothers and daughters or, even just peace within yourself by following how I’ve gotten there. And, to know deeply that the truth is always best.

LM: What inspired you to write about this particular part of your life journey? 

CW: Libraries saved me as a kid, but I didn’t see us there. That lit my fire early on. But it turned into a blaze as time went by and it turned out that where I had thought my story ended, it was upended yet again! I also was in a time in my life where the clock was ticking and I finally was in a position to be able to focus on this, which took tremendous intent and resources over many years. Growing up, I had always just wanted to write and perform. That’s it. But this was not an option in my house. I was expected to be either a doctor, lawyer, or MBA, that’s it. So, I had some great professional success, but my resolve never died to do what I’d always wanted to do because it’s truly who I am, a storyteller.

LM: What was your creative and/or writing process like?

CW: I had so much research done and archives and photos and old cards, writings, etc., that the book got too big for my home office. Let’s just say the dining table is now my writing table. (We will dine on it again one day, I swear.) To get nitty-gritty, I created a full calendar of deadlines. Ten pages a week. Ten great pages. Some days I wrote nothing. Some days I wrote eight pages in one sitting. As much as writing nonfiction or fiction is art, it’s also a job. I treated it as both. Outside of logistics, when I’d hit a point where I was stuck, I’d have my umpteenth coffee, walk around a bit, stretch and then read or watch something good; something that told a story well. That inspired me.

LM: You’re a successful published author in a space with too few Latina authors. What advice do you have for aspiring authors out there?

CW: There are very few shortcuts. That said, there are three things that have to come together: luck, hard work, and the right people, a.k.a. network. I had a big career before hosting TV, I was on faculty as a professor at NYU, a magazine editor, an advice columnist; so many things, and still, non-Latino folks would say I couldn’t write or sell this book. “No market for it.”

All to say, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t write and sell a book because you’re Latina or that writing is not your full-time job. You want to do it, I mean, really want to do it? Do it. Keep working, whether it’s on paper or in your head or meeting more and new people of all backgrounds. Never stop consuming good stories in any form: books, movies, streaming. And, if you’re looking to write a personal story, work on yourself, whether it’s with therapy and/or reading books that can help you understand yourself. All the life around you, whether your internal self or everyone you know, meet, or pass, can be an inspiration. Absorb it and be honest and kind. Your reputation means the world. If you’re mean, egotistical, gatekeeping, or envious, it shows, and word spreads. Be someone people want to work with and be with.

LM: Anything else you’d like to add?

CW: We are living through a very difficult time. But there’s never been a time in this country that there has been such power in and hunger for our community. Hold yourself and your community strong and tight and never stop fighting to have your voice heard. The reason why some people want to silence and erase us is because we are so powerful and amazing. Remember that.

LM: Tell us where our audience can find you online!

CW: Follow me on Instagram @carmenritawong, Twitter @CarmenSense and I’m on LinkedIn and Facebook as my full name. ‘See’ you there!

Why Didn't You Tell Me? by Carmen Rita Wong

An immigrant mother’s long-held secrets upend her daughter’s understanding of her family, identity, and place in the world...

$28
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Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”

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