8 Signs You Have a Secure Attachment Style

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You know how some terms turn into buzzwords but no one actually understands what they mean? Well, it happens a lot with psychological terms, especially when they relate to relationships. “Attachment style” is one of those terms and it comes up a lot in conversation. In those conversations, “secure attachment style” is often the main focus. Why? Because a securely attached person is what everyone wants to be. It translates into healthier and more stable relationships, and that’s “goals,” as they say. Do you fall into that category? Let’s find out! Here are 8 signs you have a secure attachment style:


You have healthy boundaries

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People with secure attachment styles not only set healthy boundaries for themselves, but they also respect everyone else’s boundaries. If you’re like that, it means you’re comfortable saying “no” when you have to and you strive for autonomy and individuality, even if you feel like you’re part of a whole. Whether that’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or family bond, you don’t let anyone trample all over your boundaries. For Latinas, this can be particularly challenging because we’re taught to let everything slide when it comes to family members. In that environment, the importance of setting boundaries becomes clearer than ever.

You’ve built a solid social network

group of women sitting and having a good timePhoto by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Someone with a secure attachment style is very successful at valuing and nurturing relationships. All kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. That’s why they usually have solid social networks. Whether that’s 3 friends or a hundred, you enjoy your social life and can cultivate those relationships healthily. You give as much joy and support as you receive, and you don’t need incentives to show your people you care about them.

You trust the people around you

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Trust is a cornerstone of secure attachment. While jealousy can be a normal part of the human experience, a securely attached person won’t get lost in it. They trust that a commitment has been made unless there’s reason to doubt the other person. And if there’s reason to doubt, securely attached people will bring it up and have a conversation about it. They also strive to build stable foundations for their relationships, whether romantic or not. It’s all about mutual trust, isn’t it?

You’re very open with your communication

women talking over coffee

Photo by KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels

Securely attached people are very good at communicating exactly what they need, want, and feel. They’re very comfortable with that and they’re also great at creating environments where other people can do the same. If you’re like this, you understand that communication is a two-way street and you do your best to keep your line open. This openness has allowed you to nurture strong relationships and intimate bonds. Not just with romantic partners, but also with friends and family.

You show authentic vulnerability

women giving each other comfort

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels

Vulnerability requires courage, and a securely attached person isn't afraid to be open with the people they love and trust. They share their fears, insecurities, and deepest desires, creating a space for mutual honesty. This transparency leads to deeper connections and it allows everyone involved to be more supportive. If you’re like this, you’re probably called an “open book” more often than not!

You’ve dealt with your baggage

woman looking optimistically

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels

There’s no denying that we all have a past and that past often comes with baggage. We can decide to carry that baggage with us the entire time and let it affect the way we relate to others. Or we can choose to deal with that baggage; confront it, learn what we need to learn, and then leave it behind. Securely attached people have done the latter and they’ve checked their baggage at the door. If you’re this way, it means you approach relationships with a clean slate and a positive outlook. You don’t hold new people accountable for the mistakes of past friends or partners. Doesn’t that feel wonderful?

You’re reliable and provide consistent security to others

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A securely attached person has a way of providing security to others. Whether it’s friends, partners, or family, people always know where you stand with them. You’re a consistent person whom people can rely on and this consistency means that they can always count on you. You can always count on them as well cause, as Latinos say, “Amor con amor se paga,” meaning “Love is paid with love.”

People feel like they can grow with you

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Securely attached people are eager to grow with people. If you’re in a relationship with someone, you want to grow as an individual, but also as a couple. You see your relationship as a journey that you’re traveling together. All the ups and downs of life are just opportunities to stand by each other. The same can apply to friendships and family relationships. This desire to grow both as a person and in the context of the relationship inspires others to do the same. That’s why you make people feel like they can also be better and that’s so rewarding, isn’t it?

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Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.