In The Community
Growing up, our mamas cared for us and kept us safe in any way they possibly could, from coming up with the strangest homemade remedies (that, of course, always worked…or did they?) to stern warnings for just about everything. Many of which we’ve carried on to adulthood, like not stepping descalzos on the floor to avoid catching a cold!
Now that we’re not kids anymore, all that got us wondering…why though? Where do these urban legends come from? And is there any scientific basis for any of it?
Here are 5 of the most commonly heard phrases Latina moms fervently believe, we put on our lab coats to figure out once and for all… are they fact or fiction?
“Te vas a torcer”
Freezing Parks And Recreation GIF by MOODMANGiphyHow many times did your mom tell you to cover your face when you go out from a warm place and into the cold, because if you didn’t, “te vas a torcer”? And if you dare question the validity of their statement, they always claim to know someone who’s had this happen to them. Facial paralysis is no joke, and the thought of having part of your face frozen in place from a sudden temperature change can be mortifying. But does this seemingly decades-long urban legend hold any water?
The verdict: Has some truth but no definitive causal connections.
The condition usually described is called Bell’s Palsy, described as temporary weakness or paralysis of the muscles on one side of the face, which is caused by an inflammation of the nerve that controls the muscles of the face. While the exact cause of the inflammation is still unknown, it’s believed to be related to a viral infection or an autoimmune disorder.
That being said, some studies have suggested that people who are under stress or experiencing illnesses such as upper respiratory infections may be more likely to develop Bell’s palsy. There’s also some research indicating a correlation between temperature changes and Bell’s Palsy; however, this is stll being studied, therefore not definitively clear whether the temperature changes can cause Bell’s Palsy, as research papers continue to find.
So, in this case, while the jury is still out from the scientific community, facial paralysis and temperature changes may have some relationship — We suppose it can’t hurt to listen to our mamas and cover up! It’ll also make them feel better knowing you’re taking precautions for yourself.
“Todavía está bueno”
Food Wow GIF by CBCGiphyAs you take out a loaf of bread with a spot of mold growing on the corner, your mom might cut the moldy piece, throw it in the trash, and say, “todavía está bueno.” We know Latina moms will do their best to make the most out of each and every ingredient in their pantry and not let anything go to waste. But when something is starting to go bad, is it still safe to eat if you just remove the ugly part?
The verdict: Depends on the type of food item.
Generally, if the food is perishable, such as bread or dairy products, it’s best to get rid of it as the mold and the bacteria that causes it may have already spread throughout the food.
For some fruits and vegetables, if they are overripe and showing softness or brown discoloration in some spots, those areas can be cut off, and the rest of it can still be eaten. But if it has a strong odor, tastes bad, or is growing even a tiny bit of mold or rot, it’s probably best not to test the digestive gods and throw it out becuase the bacteria or mold that caused the spoilage can quickly spread through the food. Even if the rotten part is cut off, harmful microorganisms may already have spread to other parts of it and could cause food poisoning.
If the food is a hard food, such as cheese or hard salami, it can usually be safely consumed after the mold has been removed because the bacteria aren’t likely to have gone very far. But at the end of the day, it’s probably a good rule of thumb to not mess around with spoiled food.
Also, it’s a good idea to instead focus on sustainable food practices rather than trying to salvage old groceries so that you don’t end up with spoiled food to begin with.“Un bolillo para el susto”
Sweating Heat Wave GIFGiphyAfter the 6.8 earthquake that happened on September 2022 in Mexico City, a guy made headlines for handing out pieces of bread, or “bolillos,” to people on the streets to help them relax after the awful scare (and lighten up the mood). An age-old antidote after a stressful event, what magical properties do bolillos have that make them a cure for the “susto?”
The verdict: Surprisingly true.
Eating can have a calming effect on the body after experiencing a bad scare or feeling stressed or anxious. This is because certain foods can release chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin and dopamine, that can promote feelings of relaxation and well-being.
Certain types of carbohydrates in particular, such as those found in starchy foods like pasta, bread, and potatoes, can boost the production of serotonin, a chemical that helps regulate mood and can promote feelings of calmness and relaxation. Eating a small serving of these foods can be comforting and help you feel more relaxed after a stressful event. The more you know, huh?
“Una Coca para la presión”
Movie Reaction GIFGiphySome Latina moms will use Coke as a remedy for just about everything. Feeling tired? Have some coquita to lift yourself up. Your blood pressure is low? Pour yourself a glass, and you’ll feel better. Upset stomach? Mix in a little bit of limón. Is this go-to emergency cure effective, or just some placebo effect?
The verdict: True, though probably not the best advice.
It’s pretty simple, Coca-Cola and other similar caffeinated drinks may help to temporarily increase blood pressure in people with low blood pressure. Caffeine is a stimulant that can cause the body’s blood vessels to constrict, which can lead to an increase in blood pressure. So, any caffeinated drink may have the same effect: coffee, energy drinks, or tea.
Though it’s certainly not to be used often or as an actual cure, given the fact that consuming it regularly could cause many health problems, including high blood pressure, it may actually help alleviate low blood pressure symptoms like dizziness and weakness temporarily if you need a pick-me-up on the spot and don’t have immediate access to any medication.“No comas aguacate si estás enojado”
GiphyOne of the more urban-legend-y ones, in some households, you were strictly warned against having a bite of avocado after a “coraje.” Why you would want to eat avocado while mad in the first place, we honestly don’t know. But what is it about avocados that would allegedly be so harmful to you if eaten while you’re upset about something?
The verdict: It’s totally false.
We could not find a single shred of evidence to support this claim, even though we were really keen on finding out where it came from. There’s nothing to suggest that eating avocado while stressed or angry would have any negative effect on your body. That being said, stress and anxiety are known to cause cramps and stomachaches for some people, so it wouldn’t be surprising if eating literally anything would just upset your stomach more. So, avocado is definitely not the culprit. Let nobody keep you away from that guacamole! Maybe wait for a bit, though.
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Archaic Holiday Family Party Questions: A Modern Latina's Guide
Let’s be real; the holiday season tends to be romanticized as a bright, joyful time full of family, food, and magic. And sure, it can be all that, but more often than not, there’s some tension, stress, and awkwardness sprinkled in.
The thing with a lot of Latino families is that they tend to unknowingly overstep boundaries. Some of us may find it hard to reinforce those boundaries or even speak up and tell our loved ones when they’ve said something hurtful. As a result, we may find ourselves sitting at the table with a nudo en la garganta that ruins the tamales we’re trying to enjoy.
Rather than wasting your precious energy explaining why asking when someone is planning to get pregnant isn’t appropriate, we gathered a few of the most intrusive and tired questions we hear every holiday season and put together some respectful responses.
There is a way to protect your boundaries while still acknowledging that your family’s beliefs and lifestyles may be different from our own.
The age-old questions about “traditional” family
“Y el novio, mija?” could very well be the most commonly asked question, especially if you’re a woman. The question might actually be well-intentioned sometimes (we’ll assume some people mean well and are not just looking for some chisme), but it is deeply rooted in machismo culture and the assumption that, first of all, you should be in a stable, heterosexual relationship because that’s what’s “normal,” is entirely inaccurate.
Second, that you should be in a long-term committed relationship by now ’cause you’re a señorita and the train is leaving the station soon is ageist, and also inaccurate These archaic assumptions then lead to the conclusion that if you haven’t yet landed that soon-to-be husband then something is wrong with you.
The emotional and mental damage that this causes really requires that you learn how to put an end to this question.
One might think if you do, in fact, have a novio, you might be spared from this torturous interrogation. But no, you might get hit with the “y para cuando la boda?” or even worse, the dreaded “para cuando el bebé?”
Childfree women are dramatically increasing because today’s world is vastly different from the world our grandparents or even our parents grew up in. About 44% of people between the ages of 18 and 49 are simply uninterested in having kids of their own. Roughly one-third of adults claim they are either unsure about marrying or do not want to marry at all. Aside from that, fertility issues are becoming more common than ever, with Latinas and other WOC showing a disproportionate amount of endocrine-disrupting chemicals in their bodies that may be harming their reproductive health.
Bottom line is we don’t need to be reminded that our biological clock is ticking. If we’re not already starting a “traditional” family, it’s probably because either we can’t or we do not want to at the time, or maybe ever. Either way, it is a deeply personal issue that should probably not be discussed over romeritos and bacalao.
A way to redirect the conversation is to instead ask them about their personal projects and interests.
The question can be answered (or ignored if you choose) with a simple “no,” then redirected with a, “So, prima, what have you been up to these days?” Or, “Have you finally taken up that new hobby we talked about last year, tía?” “How’s it going with your salsa classes, sis?”
Remember, there’s just so much more to a person than who they’re with or what their family may look like so despite that being the center of their worlds, simply and genuinely inquiring about something else in their world will often do the trick to shutting down those intrusive questions.
Aprende de tu prima
Living up to our family’s expectations is never easy, and it can certainly take a toll on those who have strayed from the “ideal” path one is expected to follow. As the eldest granddaughter, trust me, I would know.
I got hit with the “aprende de tu prima” card the second my younger cousin announced her engagement. And although it was “all in good fun,” I couldn’t help but feel a hint of shame that just didn’t belong to me; it was bestowed upon me the minute someone made the comparison between us two. “You should’ve gone first because you’re the eldest!”
It’s silly the way our family expects us to act as if we’re on a conveyor belt that takes us from school to school ’til we get a bachelor’s degree, then score a well-paid job, find true love, get married, start a family, have our offspring go through the exact same thing until eventually, we reunite with whoever sent us to this earth in the first place.
It’s just so unattainable it seems weird to even imagine comparing people based on where they’re currently at in their lives and then expecting every single person to do life exactly the same
What makes us interesting is our unique stories and what we bring to the table as individuals. So instead of comparisons, we can show appreciation and gratitude to our loved ones for what they are instead of what we expect them to be. This is perfectly ok to explain in response to this horrid question.
Ay, mija, estás embarneciendo
For the longest time, I didn’t even know what “embarneciendo” meant, just that my abuelita said it to me and my primas almost every time we got together. Eventually, I learned it meant that I was putting on some weight. To make it sound less critical, sometimes they would describe it as “healthy weight.”
In many Latino families, commenting on other people’s bodies is usually considered normal. It often starts from a very young age and might affect how we see ourselves and others throughout our whole lives. These comments might be disguised as coming from a place of concern. Still, hearing them can be very detrimental to our self-esteem and self-image, especially when we’ve been trying so hard to work on that ourselves.
Not to mention others might not be aware of the mental and physical health issues one might be facing that can manifest as weight gain or weight loss. Yep, “te ves más flaca” isn’t exactly a compliment, either, even though people might mean it as one.
Old habits die hard, and despite feeling annoyed every time you hear it, you might actually say these things too. Appearance is so ingrained in both American and Latino culture that we sometimes don’t even realize we are participating in the same behavior we dislike.
Fortunately, there are many ways we can compliment others without commenting on their weight or appearance. Bet your tía spent hours mastering a new healthy recipe. Ooh, la prima absolutely slayed her last exam. And abuela, your dichos are hilarious, tell us more!
See? That wasn’t so hard!
It’s never too late to change, and although it may seem like things have been a certain way forever, change is gradual, and we are all learning as we go. Although it may not seem like it, the mere act of speaking up about how something makes you feel can make waves and eventually help reshape the way your family interacts with one another, one Navidad at a time.
Kinkeeping refers to all activities related to maintaining family relationships, passing down traditions, and remembering the family’s heritage. This includes things like cooking, sharing food recipes, teaching stories, crafts and duties, contacting family members, and even organizing events to keep in touch with relatives.
During the holidays, that can mean planning get-togethers, cooking dinners, and organizing gift-giving or card-giving. In “Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions,” Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee state that the usually related tasks to kinkeeping “are time-consuming and involve emotional work that is not easily quantified,” which makes it even harder to recognize as legitimate labor that causes exhaustion just as any other labor causes, and that is also distinct from more commonly known house work.
Grandmothers, mothers, and daughters are constantly reminded of their place in the family and the responsibility to maintain and support relationships. Kinkeeping is just another form of care that falls on their shoulders. The general care work represents 12.5 billion hours of unpaid care work every day. When valued at minimum wage, this would represent a contribution to the global economy of at least $10.8 trillion a year, more than three times the size of the global tech industry.
Since the emotional labor of maintaining relationships with the family usually relies on women, this adds another layer of pressure to be the ones who are there for other family members. They’re also responsible for passing down cherished family and cultural traditions that keep heritage going.
So how does Kinkeeping affect Latina Women?
Latina culture relies heavily on maintaining family ties. And oftentimes, women are taught to prioritize household tasks like cooking and cleaning for the benefit of maintaining the family. This is ingrained in mothers and what they should teach their daughters. They are in charge every time the family needs to gather for anything.
In addition, we are also now seeing more financial expectations placed on Latina women to take care of their families, adding more stress to their lives through additional worrying and even more demands of their time. COVID-19 made these burdens Latina moms face to be there for their families crystal clear.
If mothers, daughters, and abuelas don’t organize to keep families together, a likely outcome is that families begin to drift apart. Anecdotally, we hear of situations like this when family matriarchs pass away. The family gathers less and only gathers when tías celebrate birthdays or when the other women make it a point to celebrate something. The tíos and other men never seem to think about seeing each other and getting the family together.
The problem isn’t so much about having to maintain family relationships, but more so about the fact that women are usually the only ones doing it and are expected to do so. In “A Binding Tie: Supportive Communication of Family Kinkeepers,” Margaret S. Leach and Dawn O. Braithwaite report that 72% of the kinkeepers in families are women, confirming that is a task that is attributed to women.
Aside from other responsibilities, women are carrying the emotional toll and feeling guilt around decisions that affect the family.
And in Latino culture, where closeness in the family is so valued, many Latinas lose academic or professional opportunities in order to avoid being physically distanced or emotionally unavailable. When Latinas are required to be the emotional support no matter the circumstance, they are too often forced to deprioritize themselves and their goals, making kinkeeping a topic that should no longer go unrecognized and not understood.