domestic violence

Stop Asking Abuse Victims Dumb Questions

two people holding each other in a serious conversation

Domestic abuse victims are often asked the questions: Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you ask for help sooner? These questions shift the blame to the wrong person and come from a very damaging and harmful practice: victim-blaming.

But the answer is simple:

leaving an abuser isn’t that easy. While everyone has their specific reasons, what they are is irrelevant; the victim should never be blamed for being abused. However, there are certain motives that are noticeably frequent and can easily explain why the cycle of violence is so difficult to leave.

Fear of Retaliation

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence “1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime”.

According to NCBI, annually, domestic violence is responsible for over 1500 deaths in the United States. Abusers are violent and capable of anything. It’s only natural for the victim to fear that the abuser will murder them if they speak up or seek help, and many times the abuser will threaten them with murder, to begin with. The statistics point to the reality that victims face, and it is not just in the numbers. Any human will do anything that they can to survive.

Financial Dependency and Isolation

A big part of domestic abuse is that perpetrators are narcissistic manipulators. What this means for the victim is that the abuser will oftentimes try to take complete control of their lives by isolating them from family and friends, making it almost impossible to leave this circle of violence.

Sometimes, the abuser is the main source of income, which can also be a manipulation technique. The victim will feel threatened to lose their home, go hungry, etc, and if there are kids involved they also have them to think about. And if the victim is a vulnerable figure such as a child or an elder, it’s possible that they wholly depend on the abuser for all their needs.

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome is a condition in which hostages develop a psychological bond with their captors during captivity. It is an emotional response to an emotionally stressful situation and victims of abuse can develop this syndrome.

Generally, during the period in which the victim is abused, they start to develop a bond or sympathy towards the abuser, typically because this can lead to kind treatment and less harm from the abuser. This can be particularly true for children being abused by a parental figure who they’re meant to see as their protector.

The syndrome can also make the victim develop negative feelings towards those trying to rescue them. While research regarding the subject is still ongoing, it’s thought that this is a survival and coping mechanism that develops after being in a particularly terrifying situation.

Familiarity becomes comfort for abuse victims

For some victims, the abuser is somebody they trust or love, a partner, a spouse, a parent, etc. Oftentimes it’s the person responsible for meeting all of their basic needs for survival. This is why it’s understandably difficult for them to remove themselves from the situation.

Uncertainty arises when the person thinks of leaving, and that’s only natural. They may oftentimes be concerned and ask themselves, what will happen then if this is all I’ve ever known?

Grooming

According to psychologists, abusers can sometimes groom their victims. Grooming in domestic abuse is the act in which the abuser will attempt to cover their abuse by being overly affective or romantic with their victims as a form of manipulation. They’ll flood their victims with care, and signs of love. According to Lisa Aronson Fontes, Ph.D. this predatory tactic is meant to build a deep emotional connection.

There are many more reasons why the violence circle is so difficult to leave for victims. Each case it’s different but what’s important is to remember that the victim is never at fault for the abuse. Instead of asking them why they didn’t leave, we should point fingers at the abuser and ask, why is this person so comfortable with violence, and why are we so comfortable in pointing fingers at the victim, to begin with?


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impact

Six Latin American Indigenous Women Activists You Probably Didn't Know About

From left to right: Berta Cáceres, Comandanta Ramona, Rigoberta Menchú, Aura Lolita Chávez Ixcaquic, Guadalupe Vázquez Luna, and Leydy Pech

The world has seen countless inspiring women rise to fight for justice and equality, particularly for marginalized and oppressed communities. Their tireless advocacy has brought much-needed attention to issues such as women's and Indigenous rights, environmental justice, and preserving Indigenous knowledge and culture.

Despite their challenges and obstacles, these Latin American Indigenous women serve as powerful role models and reminders of the transformative potential of grassroots activism. Let’s take a closer look at their extraordinary lives and legacies:
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politics

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

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opinion

Latinos Are Ready to Vote for Abortion Rights This November

hands holding up yellow protest signs that say Hands Off Our Bodies
Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).

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