Immigrating to Forced Assimilation: At What Cost?

three people, staring ahead

Moving to the U.S. is fucking hard —


at least that’s what I’ve heard.

I’ve definitely considered it: immigrating and starting over in a new place, accessing a different kind of life, and a job that will pay you twice as much as the job you have. Not to mention the security of living elsewhere and the opportunity of escaping your country’s reality, whatever that might be. Obviously, it varies from abject misery, violence, and political instability to meh, could be better.

The Journey

A family friend of mine made the courageous decision to pick up everything and leave.

After he spent several months saving enough money for the trip, he started the trek through non-official channels. He couldn’t contact his mother very often, which left her worried and anxious about what would happen to him. He reported spending days without eating.

While he was crossing, he was set up and kidnapped. The people he paid for safe passage to the United States, instead took him to a house. He didn’t know why he was being taken to a house but he knew it wasn’t normal. He remembers seeing bloody footprints on the floor, feeling scared of what those meant for him, and feeling terrified of what they might do to him.

They held him hostage and demanded $4,000 in ransom from his mom; money they weren’t able to give. His mother feared the worst for him. She was able to get in touch with the people who organized the trip and demanded they do something about it. Ultimately they don’t know how they managed to pull it off, but kidnappers freed him without his mom having to pay a cent, but the trauma and the life-long damage were done.

When I heard the story from his mom, I got chills all over my body. Leaving everything behind and on top of that, suffering so much sounded terrifying. I couldn’t imagine how he actually felt while he was facing possible death and other unknown horrors.

Immigrating: Making the Decision

Many people know the risk they face when crossing into the U.S. illegally. People face that risk out of necessity. They might be running away from gang violence. Some do it because their jobs don’t provide enough to keep them alive, others are looking for better economic opportunities that can get them and their loved ones out of extreme poverty.

I’ve been scared shitless of living in my country of El Salvador and have been frustrated about the lack of opportunities even though I know I have the capacity to thrive. I’ve seen my parents stress about money and have contemplated leaving everything here. I’ve met people living in harsh conditions here in El Salvador and somehow still see hope in their eyes for a better life.

But who the fuck would want to pick up and pack up their stuff without knowing what will happen next?

The Arrival

We’ve read all about how the road to the United States is harsh, lonesome, ruthless, and so on and so forth. The trek is hard. If you do it the “right way,” you spend endless hours and money on getting your visa, which most people currently don’t qualify for, and then you spend years saving up for the plane ticket and trip. The alternative is spending several days walking under the burning sun through deserts, jungles, crime-filled cities, and who knows what else in order to avoid migration police, kidnappers, and rapists, all while trying to ration food and water.

If you finally make it to the finish line, whether legally or illegally, you’re then in a new country expecting to see and experience all the possibilities that you’ve heard and dreamed about – better jobs, education, economic stability, and the all-American dream.

But everything is different, the smell, the air, the people, and, of course, the language.

As if surviving the trip wasn’t challenging enough, now that you’re in your new country, you have to change your life. And then the heavy lift begins.

Forced Assimilation

You discover that things were not as you thought they would be. Some people are friendly, some are ruthless, and others are just outright racist.

Then, the white dominant society begins to attempt to strip you of your identity. You’re too loud, your broken English is annoying, you should stop using that piece of clothing or those gold hoops. Parents notice and, out of fear of discrimination, they cut their kids off from their heritage, their language, and their roots.

The kids can barely say gracias, qué tal, and have learned next to nothing about their roots or traditions. Parents do it to protect their children, but as those kids grow older, they begin to feel bitter about what was forced upon them – and what they involuntarily lost.

Not American Enough

Then you see people being told to go back to their country for speaking Spanish.

Finally, it sinks in how important it was for parents to whitewash identity. They wanted the best life for their kids and thought that making them invisible was the best choice.

Sadly, this practice still leads to losing pieces of yourself which you eventually try to reassemble. Because as many Latinos who look non-white eventually find out, after trying your damndest to assimilate by speaking perfect English, maybe losing your native tongue, dressing “American,” and adopting white beauty standards, many people still see you as a foreigner. You will be a perpetual outsider no matter how many degrees hang on your wall.

After all, you don’t look like them. You’re not part of the club.

Owning Your Identity

That’s when it hits you: no matter how much you change yourself, you will always stand out. So, you make the brave decision to begin owning yourself, being unapologetically you, and embracing your culture. Even though you won’t get those years back, you put all you’ve got into picking everything up again. Maybe you’ll try learning your native language or start wearing clothing with native patterns, or start learning your family’s heritage.

Whatever it is, assimilating to the U.S never comes easy, especially the part about pleasing everyone around except you. Stripping your personality down will hold you back, make you feel confused, and possibly leave you feeling lost. Be proud of who you are, patient in the relearning, but most of all, don’t let anyone else tell you who you are.

Rebuilding yourself will leave you exhausted, and that sense of belonging won’t appear suddenly.

As a native Salvadoran, dropping everything I know, my house, my friends, my job, without being sure of what’s on the other side is too daunting. Even if I’ve experienced feeling out of place in my own country, I can’t quite grasp what it feels like in a foreign country where you have nothing or no one to rely on.

However, things are getting even worse in my reality. You feel like this isn’t living. It’s not fair. Chaos keeps rising and up. The thought of assimilating isn’t even the worst part of moving abroad but it sure as hell seems much easier when you’re on the side of chaos and misery.

I admire the strength it takes to go through it all, and it feels impossible to leave most days, but I also know that the myth of the American dream is being dismantled, Latinos are claiming their space and their identity, and those who endured so much in pursuit of their dreams might one day feel like the collective effort was worth it.


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Image by Sayuri Jimenez.

Nathalie Molina Niño has never been one to shy away from breaking barriers, and now, she’s focusing her attention on a new mission: demystifying corporate boardrooms for women, especially Latinas. Molina Niño is the President of Known, an asset management and financial services firm, a veteran tech entrepreneur and builder capitalist, and a board member at the iconic lingerie Brand, Hanky Panky, and others.

Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”

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Ever noticed how September in Latin America is just one big celebration? As we wave goodbye to summer and avoid winter as long as we can, the streets come alive with parades, music, and festivities. Many Latin American countries celebrate their freedom this month, commemorating their hard-fought battles for independence from colonial domination. Let’s dive into these significant days and understand what makes each unique.

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