Connecting with Yourself: A Guide to Self-Intimacy

a dark haired woman looking up at the sky

Intimacy can take many forms, but highlighting self-intimacy is one of the most important and reflective tasks one can do.


What is self-intimacy?

Normally when we think of intimacy, we think of relationships with partners or sex. Self-intimacy can take the form of many things, but we’re viewing it as a form of radical self-care to reflect on your inner thoughts and emotions regarding who you are and the joy you feel about where you are in life.

Self-intimacy can be painful, as it requires taking the time to become more aware of your feelings and taking part in acts of service to care about those feelings. It’s not easy because it requires you to face your demons and challenge the unhealthy behaviors you might use as a coping mechanism for the things that don’t bring you joy in life.

Investing in self-intimacy is important to be able to understand your relationship with yourself and also with the people and things around you. It’s an important part of being a partner since it helps you learn more about yourself and express your findings with your loved ones.

Becoming comfortable with feeling how you feel enables you to tap into those reservoirs of self-love you might not even be aware you’re capable of having. No, this doesn’t mean becoming obsessed with yourself (although, why not?), but rather being able to recognize your own emotions and act in service of those emotions to make yourself happy. This includes taking a step back to assess a situation and your feelings towards it before reacting, enabling you to do better and be better in relation to yourself as well as others.

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It also means recognizing toxic patterns of behavior and implementing acts to break them, as well as setting boundaries within relationships. Ask yourself questions such as “Do I enjoy being with these people?” and “Am I allowing myself to really connect with others to be treated the way I’d like to be treated?” These might be hard to confront but ultimately result in your understanding of the love you deserve and accept into your life. Knowing you’re worthy of quality love enables you to attract it in all aspects.

Being vulnerable with yourself allows you to be more vulnerable with others. Being honest with yourself will allow you to be more honest with others. Meditate on questions centered around your solitude – do you like being alone? Are you comfortable with it? Are you empowered by your own presence? If not, you could be having issues spending time with yourself, which is always a no-go. Feeling comfortable alone without feeling lonely is an empowering emotion that only enables you to value the company of others even more.

Self-intimacy also allows you to learn more about what empowers you and makes you feel like a confident, sexy person. Sexy meaning being someone that excites you and arouses all the right parts of you – you really can do all bad by yourself, we promise! Confidence like this will allow you to discover your true sexual energy and what you like.

In short, self-intimacy is sitting with yourself to know more about who you are. Understanding that you’re worthy of love, worthy of knowing yourself to be better, feeling confident, and discovering your sexual energy all are worth looking into! You got this, mija!

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How can I practice self-intimacy in my day-to-day?

Ready to nurture and pamper your inner self every day? Here's your essential checklist to keep handy:

    • Redefine Intimacy: Think beyond romance. Picture self-intimacy as a transformative journey of self-discovery, shedding light on your inner world.
    • Embrace the Emotional Workout: Like spring cleaning for the soul, sort through your feelings. Keep the joy, toss the junk.
    • Invest in Your Inner World: It’s emotional homework that pays off big time. The better you know yourself, the richer your connections with others become.
    • Own Your Emotions: Understand and navigate life from a space of clarity. Pause, reflect, and act with intention.
    • Break Self-Sabotage: Identify patterns that hold you back. Do you vibe with your circle? Are you settling for less than you deserve?
    • Ask the Tough Questions: Dive deep. Ponder about solitude – is it comforting or unnerving? Find peace in your own company to deepen connections with others.
    • Raw & Real = Golden: Honesty with yourself is a direct path to forming genuine connections with others.
    • Find Your Sexy: No, not just that kind. The confidence, the energy, the magnetic pull that says you’re the lead in your life’s story.
    • Discover the Joy of Solitude: Recognize the beauty of being content in your own company. That peace makes shared moments even more special.
    • Celebrate Yourself: At the end of the day, self-intimacy is about realizing you’re kind of a big deal. Dive in, and discover the magic that’s uniquely you. Cheers to the journey!

    This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

    In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

    The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

    Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

    cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

    B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

    This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

    Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

    cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

    Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

    For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

    Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

    Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

    “We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

    “Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

    Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

    Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

    "We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

    With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

    hands holding up yellow protest signs that say Hands Off Our Bodies
    Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

    Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

    The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

    In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

    Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

    The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

    For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

    A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

    In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

    In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

    Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

    Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).