Mother’s Day is today in the U.S (May 8th) and May 10th on most parts of Latin America, and we can’t help but think about all the things our mamás told us growing up. All of their advice, thoughts and opinions often came unsolicited, but we’re thankful for them and all of the wisdom they constantly shared with us growing up.
Here are a few of the things we can now laugh about and even share with our own kids because to be honest, some of these are so true!
Don't walk around the house barefoot because of ‘el piso frío’
Does anyone know the real repercussions of walking barefoot on cold floors? This might be one of the biggest fights growing up with a Latina mom because they were adamant that you would get sick with bare feet in the house.
Saying you were bored and your mom responded with ‘ponte a limpiar’
You could NEVER say how bored you were or else your mom would respond telling you to clean. All you wanted was to go hangout with your friends, and now you were stuck cleaning your room.
Asking for food when you’re out and the response was ‘Hay comida en la casa’
It was so difficult to convince your parents to take you to McDonald’s after a day of riding around in the car with them running errands. As soon as you said tengo hambre, mom’s response was almost immediately hay comida en la casa.
Hearing the comforting words, ‘Todo a su tiempo, mija’
Moms have a sense of knowing that things will be okay and their comforting words always help us get through the toughest of times. Perhaps it’s their instinct or all of the challenges they have managed to overcome, but either way we feel at ease every time we hear those words.
¡Mientras vivas en esta casa…! was mom’s favorite saying
It didn’t matter if all of your friends were going out, you were not if mom said so. Why? Because under her roof, only her rules applied and it doesn’t matter if you’re 6, 16 or 26. If you’re living with your papás, their rules go!
One thing about adult women is that most, if not all, can report having had terrible dates, and are trying to avoid them whenever possible. More importantly, in their quest for companionship, women are simply trying to stay safe out there. Statistically speaking, men’s violence against women is the biggest threat to their safety and well-being. Looking at domestic violence stats alone, 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1 in 3 Latinas will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
On an expanded global scale, an estimated 47,000 women and girls were killed by intimate partners or family members in 2020 alone. That means one woman or girl is killed somewhere in the world every 11 minutes. In 2021, the Bureau of Justice Statistics showed that the percentage of women murdered by an intimate partner was 5 times higher than for males. Men are also victims of domestic abuse and violence but at a significantly lower rate than women.
The recent viral conversation of Man vs. Bear is an indicator of how universal the fear of men is among women. The hypothetical question posed by the pop culture account Screenshot HQ has been liked 2.2 million times and has 72 thousand comments.
When men were asked if they would rather their daughters be stuck in the woods with a man or a bear, many chose the bear as well. Why? Commentators have noted that men are unpredictable and are more likely to be a bigger threat than wild animals. Women are choosing the bears not because they think they would actually survive a bear attack but because men attack women unprovoked and for reasons that are often associated with the mere fact of just being a woman and nothing else.
Thats crazy that other men feel like way.. #manorbear #husband #married #fyp
The Dating Hellscape
Dating is an emotional risk for both men and women; that’s clear. For women, however, the safety risk is undeniably greater than for men. In a world where dating has largely shifted into virtual spaces where all you have to go on is a few phrases and some photos, there’s no real way to determine if a man “looks” violent at worst or is a lying manipulator at best.
When Paola Sanchez launched the group “Are We Dating the Same Guy?”, women in the millions flocked to the groups. To date, there are over 200 Facebook groups with over 4 million members worldwide. Sanchez describes the groups as “Red Flag Awareness groups around the world where women can empower each other and keep each other safe from dangerous or toxic men.”
It’s a simple premise that has resulted in significant controversy, especially as stories of leaked posts that led to harassment and even violence from the men who found out about them emerge. There are also emotional and legal issues that some women have had to contend with as a result of their posts.
While the title of the group implies that the focus is on avoiding dating the same guy who is cheating with multiple women, the focus of most conversations is actually on discussing dating experiences. Women use these spaces to share red flags, post men’s dating profiles showing the first name only and photos (doxing is prohibited), and share their stories in hopes of saving other women from bad dating experiences, falling for catfishing and lies, cheating, catching sexually transmitted diseases, or encountering potentially dangerous men. Many women have, indeed, been saved from all of these things, which is why the groups are so popular.
Ever since the AWDTSG groups entered the scene, many men have actively opposed the groups, claiming they’re toxic spaces where gossip thrives. Some of the claims have led to consequences for men in real life, such as losing relationships, being questioned by employers, and more. They have also led to consequences for women, who have been confronted by men they’ve discussed in the groups. Some have even been sued.
On one hand, critics of the groups have argued that it’s very difficult to verify what every person posts on the AWDTSG groups and that some women may have reasons to fabricate stories. Also, mental health practitioners have noted that a Facebook group likely isn’t the best space to discuss traumatic dating or relationship experiences. On the other hand, there are thousands of testimonials from members of the groups that have said the information they found saved them from unsavory experiences in the dating scene. Women have also reported cutting off men whom they were social friends with after they found out about instances of alleged abuse or misbehavior.
The Legal Battles and Outcomes
One of the men affected by the AWDTSG groups decided to sue. Stewart Lucas Murrey sued over 50 women in California for defamation, alleging sex-based discrimination and civil conspiracy. However, a judge recently dismissed the lawsuit against one of the women, Vanessa Valdez, who filed an anti-SLAPP motion arguing against censorship. Despite Murrey’s claims, the judge found no evidence of conspiracy and ruled in favor of free speech, emphasizing the importance of protecting women's security against harassment. Murrey vowed to continue his legal battle, but legal experts note the difficulty of defamation lawsuits, especially in cases involving online speech.
'Are We Dating The Same Guy' lawsuit press conferencewww.youtube.com
This isn’t the first defamation lawsuit made against women from an AWDTSG group. In Chicago, Nikko D'Ambrosio filed a lawsuit against 27 women over an allegedly defamatory post stating he sent harassing messages to women and was otherwise just a really low-quality and selfish person to date. D'Ambrosio's attorneys argued his reputation was damaged and sought intervention from Facebook and Meta. This lawsuit was eventually dismissed.
But as reported by “Tech Dirt,” “apparently D’Ambrosio is the kind of guy who won’t take no for an answer… Even from judges. He’s apparently the kind of guy that when his number gets blocked or his case gets thrown out, he’ll just text from a different number or file a brand new case.” D’Ambrosio refiled his case to attempt to relitigate whether his status as a serial ghoster is in fact warranted.
When an overwhelming amount of women are choosing bear over men in hypothetical woods, and groups like “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” aren’t only racking up the legal wins but also racking up their number of members, it’s a good indication that AWDTSG isn’t going anywhere. If anything, women will likely continue to band together in search of safe spaces, despite the potential risk of leaks, lawsuits, and being confronted by the men they expose.
In a world where women’s claims of harassment or abuse by men are consistently ignored, dismissed, or simply not believed, women are protecting each other, attempting to fulfill the lack of societal protections, and carrying the feminist legacy of consciousness-raising groups.
We've all been there. The workplace can be a minefield of social cues, under-the-radar biases, and those sneaky "small" remarks that aren't so small after all - they're microaggressions. These little zingers can sting, especially when they're aimed at our identity, including our race or ethnicity. This time, we're pulling back the curtain on microaggressions faced by Latino people at work. We'll break it down with real-life examples, explore why these seemingly insignificant slights matter, and give you some tools to tackle this head-on.
Examples of Microaggressions
Here are some common microaggressions that Latino folks might encounter at the workplace:
Ethnic Stereotyping: "I bet you're a good dancer." “You don't look Latina." Colleagues or superiors may make comments or jokes that perpetuate stereotypes about Latino people. Examples include assuming all Latinos are good at dancing, suggesting that a Latino colleague must be "fiery" or "passionate," or associating Latinos only with manual labor positions.
Language Assumptions: "Your English is very good." "Say something in Spanish for me." There is often an assumption that all Latinos speak Spanish or have a 'Latin accent'. Conversely, Latinos who don't speak Spanish might be seen as 'less authentic'.
Assumptions about Legal Status: "So, where are you really from?" "Do you have a green card?" It's surprising how often Latino people get asked about their immigration status or where they're 'really' from. As if their nationality somehow needs further validation.
Exoticizing or Diminishing Cultural Heritage: “Your accent is so exotic.” "You must be really passionate." Comments that exoticize or minimize the diversity and complexity of Latino cultures, such as lumping all Latino cultures together or calling someone's food or accent "exotic," are common forms of microaggressions.
Why We Should Care
You might be thinking, "So what? These are just tiny slights. Why the fuss?" Microaggressions, although seemingly subtle or minor, can have a considerable impact on the recipients. These impacts can include:
Psychological Effects: Chronic exposure to microaggressions can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression. It can also lead to lower self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Performance and Job Satisfaction: Ever tried to focus on work when you're stressed or upset? Not so easy, right? The stress and discomfort resulting from microaggressions can lead to decreased job satisfaction, lower performance, and higher turnover rates among Latino employees.
Organizational Culture: No one wants to work in a toxic environment, and a company's reputation can take a serious hit if it's known for microaggressions. A high prevalence of microaggressions can negatively impact the organization's culture, making it less inclusive and causing damage to its reputation.
Reduced Diversity: If unchecked, microaggressions can deter talented individuals from diverse backgrounds from joining or staying in an organization, reducing the diversity that drives innovation and growth.
How to Deal With Microaggressions
The good news? There are ways to address this issue. As an organization or employer, here are some of the steps you can take:
Awareness and Education: The first step towards addressing microaggressions is recognizing their existence and understanding their impacts. Workshops, seminars, or diversity training sessions can help with this.
Encourage Open Conversations: Provide safe spaces for employees to discuss incidents of microaggressions, how they feel, and how they would like the situations to be handled.
Establish and Enforce Policies: Organizations need clear, strict policies against all forms of microaggressions. These policies should include reporting mechanisms and fair consequences for those who violate the policies.
Support Affected Employees: Provide resources and support to employees who experience microaggressions. This could include counseling services, mediation, or reassurances of their value and belonging within the organization.
Promote Inclusive Leadership: Encourage leaders to set the tone for inclusive behavior. They should model respect for all individuals and cultures, demonstrate understanding and empathy, and take action when they witness microaggressions.
Dealing with microaggressions as an individual can be tricky. It requires a combination of self-care, assertive communication, and strategies to create change. Here are some tips:
Recognize and Validate Your Feelings: Understand that it's okay to be upset by microaggressions. They can be hurtful and demeaning. Don't dismiss your feelings or let others trivialize your experiences.
Assertive Communication: If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, address the microaggression directly with the person who committed it. They may not even be aware that their comment or action was offensive.
Educate Others: Use instances of microaggressions as teaching moments, if you feel up to it. Inform the person about what a microaggression is and why their comment or behavior is inappropriate. Remember, you're not obligated to educate others, but it can sometimes be a powerful tool for change.
Report the Incidents: If the microaggressions persist, consider reporting them to a supervisor, HR, or another appropriate entity within your organization. Be prepared to provide specific examples and express your concerns clearly.
Advocate for Change: Push for workplace policies that address microaggressions and support diversity, inclusion, and respect. This could mean advocating for diversity and sensitivity training, creating safe spaces for discussions about microaggressions, or contributing to the development of fair reporting and resolution procedures.
Microaggressions might seem like small stuff, but they're a big deal. By learning to recognize and address them, we can create a more respectful and inclusive work environment for everyone. Remember, it's not just about avoiding the paper cuts - it's about fostering a workplace where everyone feels valued and respected. And that, my friends, is a win-win for all.
Latinas come from various backgrounds and have unique stories to tell. We encompass a rich tapestry of cultures, histories, and life experiences. Unfortunately, despite this beautiful diversity, we often face persistent stereotypes that limit and objectify us, reducing our identities to sexualized and exotic caricatures. These stereotypes have far-reaching effects on the Latina community, influencing our personal lives, careers, and overall place in society.
Sexualization and fetishization are separate but interconnected issues. Sexualization refers to the reduction of a person to their sexual attributes or capacities, essentially objectifying them. Fetishization involves objectifying a person and attributing stereotypical or fantastical traits to them based on their racial or ethnic background.
As Latinas, we frequently find ourselves confronted with a pervasive stereotype that has come to be known as the "spicy Latina." This stereotype portrays us as hypersexual, passionate, hot-blooded, loud, and intense individuals, and is often accompanied by a strong, “exotic” accent, reducing our complex identities to a superficial and sensationalized caricature. The "spicy Latina" stereotype contributes to the harmful fetishization of Latinas, as assumptions about our supposed "passion" or "fire" are used to justify and perpetuate our objectification as mere sexual objects.
The fetishization of Latinas is further exemplified by distressing statistics. In 2022, the term "latina" ranked as the 4th most searched keyword in the adult film industry. This serves as a stark reminder of how our ethnicity is reduced to a sexualized fantasy, reinforcing the objectification and devaluation we face.
This persistent sexualization and fetishization can have far-reaching implications for our personal and professional lives:
Personal Impact
The perpetuation of these stereotypes places us at risk of encountering uncomfortable and unsafe situations. Many Latinas find themselves subjected to unwanted sexual attention or advances solely because of these preconceived notions. Consequently, these stereotypes also have an impact on our interpersonal relationships, as we may feel compelled to conform to these expectations or fear being misunderstood by our partners. The pressure to fit into these sexualized roles can significantly affect our personal well-being.
Professional Impact
In professional settings, the sexualization of Latinas can serve as a barrier to our progress and adversely affect how we are treated. We may not be taken as seriously as our counterparts or, worse, experience harassment based on these sexualized stereotypes. Such objectification undermines our abilities and accomplishments, impeding our advancement and stifling our professional growth. It is a disheartening reality that our capabilities may be overshadowed or dismissed due to the focus on our perceived sexual attractiveness.
Societal Impact
The sexualization and fetishization of Latinas perpetuate systemic inequalities, exacerbating discrimination on a societal level. These prevalent stereotypes contribute to biases and prejudices that manifest in various sectors, including healthcare, law enforcement, and education. Latinas may face unequal access to quality healthcare or encounter biased treatment from law enforcement officials. Moreover, these stereotypes can limit educational opportunities and hinder academic achievements. The consequences are far-reaching, reinforcing existing disparities and impeding progress toward a more equitable society.
Mental Health Impact
The continuous objectification and devaluation of Latinas take a toll on our mental health. The persistent portrayal of Latinas as solely sexual objects can lead to profound self-esteem issues, feelings of inadequacy, and internalized racism. The resulting anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges are further compounded by the lack of authentic representation of the diverse experiences of Latinas in media and popular culture. Our identities and stories are often overlooked or distorted, contributing to a sense of marginalization and erasure. It is crucial to recognize and address these mental health implications to ensure the well-being of Latinas and foster a society that celebrates our true worth and contributions.
\u201cI'm so tired of fetishization of Latinas. The fact that Latina women are only valued if they're considered attractive is so disgusting.\u201d
The sexualization and fetishization of Latinas have profound and wide-ranging consequences that extend into our personal lives, professional endeavors, and the broader fabric of society. To confront and address these issues, we need to actively dismantle harmful stereotypes, foster inclusivity, and create a more equitable world for not only Latinas but all marginalized communities.
A critical step is to demand media representation that defies and shatters stereotypes. We need to see Latinas depicted in diverse roles that highlight our complexity as individuals with unique stories and experiences. By challenging the narrow narratives often imposed upon us, we can promote a more authentic and nuanced understanding of Latinx identities.
Advocating for Latin American history and culture to be integrated into education is equally important. By ensuring that people learn about the real lives and rich backgrounds of Latinas, we can cultivate understanding, appreciation, and respect for our heritage.
By openly discussing the problems of sexualization and objectification, we can challenge people's attitudes and foster positive change in societal perceptions. It is through dialogue, education, and empathy that we can shift societal norms and foster a climate of respect and equality.
In the end, it's important that we empower ourselves and our fellow Latinas to speak out against stereotypes and discrimination. Creating safe and inclusive spaces where our voices are heard, acknowledged, and respected is essential for progress. Together, we can uplift one another, amplify our voices, and assert our right to be treated with dignity, respect, and equality. These fundamental principles should be extended to every individual, regardless of their background or identity.
Image shared by 
Image shared by 
Image shared by 
