In The Community
Despite Latinas in the U.S. leading the charge as the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in 2023 and despite the rise of Bachelor’s Degree attainment among them, Latinas continue to feel the pressure of gender role expectations often imposed within Latino culture. A recent Pew Research Center study has shed light on just how much pressure Latinas in America are under.
The study, conducted through a bilingual National Survey of Latinos, captured the voices of over 5,000 Latino adults, offering invaluable insights into the Latina experience in the U.S. One striking finding reveals that more than half of Latinas feel the weight of dual pressures: the expectation to provide for their families and the drive to succeed in their careers. They often find themselves caught between two cultures, each with a different set of expectations, which can feel like walking a tightrope between tradition and modernity.
The study acknowledges that some Latinas in the U.S. are still brought up with traditional Latino values. Marianismo, the cultural archetype that emphasizes qualities like self-sacrifice and devotion to family in women, is still quite prevalent. Leading 53% of Latinas to feel the pressure to care for children or senior family members, provide financial support to families, or live near them. At the same time, 36% of Latinas feel pressure to achieve academic or professional success.
One of the key insights of the study is that it reveals stark disparities within the Latina community, particularly between U.S.-born people and immigrants. U.S.-born Latinas are more likely to feel the weight of gender expectations and societal pressures, reflecting the influence of acculturation on perceptions of identity and gender roles. Among Latina adults born in the U.S. 66% say they feel pressure to get married and have children, compared to 47% of Latina immigrants who report the same pressure.
The Pew Research Center’s study also revealed that Latina women are more likely to say that sexism is an issue than Latino men because they experience it in many aspects of life, including work, school, and entertainment media like movies, TV, and music. For instance, 52% of Latina women say sexism is a big problem at work, while only 44% of Latino men say the same.
Ultimately, the study confirms many of the nuanced challenges Latina women face in the United States, not just due to cultural expectations, traditional gender roles, and societal stressors, but also due to systemic issues like gender-based discrimination. Even in the face of such issues, Latina women seem to prevail and thrive, contributing greatly not just to their families, but also to society by being productive members of it.
To that point, the study found that “88% of Latinas are either extremely or very satisfied (56%) or somewhat satisfied (32%) with their family life,” and “86% say they are extremely or very happy (43%) or somewhat happy (43%)” with how their lives are going. However, the matter remains nuanced; another Pew Research Center study revealed Latinas perceive both progress and stagnation.
For instance, Latina women show higher rates of educational attainment, with a notable surge in bachelor's degree holders from 16% in 2013 to 23% in 2023. Additionally, more and more Latinas are pursuing graduate degrees. Latinas’ engagement in the workforce has also increased from 65% to 69% in 2023. Economically, Latinas have made strides as well, with a 17% rise in median hourly wage over the last decade, from $16.47 in 2013 to $19.23 in 2023, according to the study.
However, these victories are contrasted by issues that have remained static, like the gender pay gap. The study showed that, in 2013, Latina women earned 89 cents for every dollar a Latino man earned. In 2023, they earned 85 cents for every dollar earned by a Latino man. Moreover, the study shows Latina women still make less than non-Latinas, earning only 77 cents for every dollar in 2023. It’s unsurprising that while half of surveyed Latinas say the situation has improved in the last 10 years and nearly half expect further improvement in the next 10 years, a notable portion, 39%, say that the situation hasn’t changed and 34% say it will remain that way for the next decade.
Shedding light on the complexities of the Latina experience in the U.S. is crucial for policymakers, employers, and communities to develop strategies that support the advancement of Latina women. It’s also proof that though Latina women have come a long way, there’s still much progress to be made.
- Encanto: The Authentic Struggles Faced by Latina Daughters ›
- An Eldest Daughter’s Journey From People Pleasing to Setting Boundaries ›
- Latino Family Dynamics: The Importance of Setting Boundaries ›
Few words are as prominent as “gratitude,” especially in the Latino community. We’re constantly reminded to be grateful for everything we have. While the practice is encouraged as a habit for improved mental health and it’s indeed important to be grateful, there are healthy limits to how grateful one should be. Enter toxic gratitude, which isn’t defined by a genuine sense of thankfulness, but by a sense of forced obligation.
There isn’t much research about toxic gratitude amongst Latinos, but culturally speaking, it’s not uncommon for both non-U.S. born and U.S. born Latinos to be discouraged from asking for what they actually deserve in the workplace, or be told not to make any waves and avoid any potential problems.
Where does the Latino gratitude problem come from and how does it negatively impact Latino social, economic, and personal progress?
The toxic gratitude problem
The difference between gratitude and toxic gratitude lies in intention. Where gratitude comes naturally, stemming from a genuine sense of thankfulness, toxic gratitude is something we force on ourselves to either suppress negative emotions or ignore real problems. For example, you’re a Latino in the corporate world and you’ve been climbing that ladder. Lately, you’ve been working yourself even further to the bone because you’re aiming for a coveted promotion.
When the time comes, the promotion goes to your white co-worker, who happens to be well-connected and hasn’t put in even half the work you have. That would make you feel all kinds of frustrated, angry, exhausted, and sad. In turn, these emotions would make you want to do something, like talking to your manager about it or even considering looking for a job in a company that will value your efforts.
Instead of feeling those emotions and potentially taking action, the voice in your head goes: “Everything happens for a reason, I should just be grateful for what I have. Thank God I even have a job.” While that’s a seemingly harmless thought, it’s a form of self-repression. Not only are you telling yourself that it’s not okay to feel how you feel, but you’re also talking yourself out of advocating for what you know you deserve.
That voice in your head has probably been nurtured by your Latino parents and grandparents, who have taught you that you have to work for what you want, but you also have to keep your head down. If you prove yourself through your work, the people in power will notice and eventually lift you up. Your work will speak for you and your time will come, so you shouldn’t complain. These are usually the values instilled in us, but are they helpful in every context? If we’re always taking things on the chin instead of standing up for ourselves when it counts, how can change ever be made?
Where does the Latino gratitude problem stem from?
We consider there are two main reasons for the Latino gratitude problem. One reason is catholicism, which is the main religion in Latin America and in Latino communities around the world. While the number of Latinos without religious affiliations is growing, Catholics are still the largest religious group among Latinos in the U.S., according to an AP poll.
One of the core tenets of catholicism is that suffering is redemptive and it leads to salvation. With catholicism being so ingrained in Latino culture, we’re taught to believe that suffering is not a bad thing, it’s something to be offered to God and good things may come of it. That’s one of the reasons we’re told to be grateful for everything, even the injustices we may experience.
Another reason is that most Latinos, especially Latino immigrants who have moved to the U.S. or other countries in search of a better life, generally know how much worse things can be. Yes, you didn’t get the promotion you deserved, but are you starving? “Other people have it much worse than me” or “At least my situation is not as bad as someone else’s” are common thoughts, but they diminish our own experiences. We’re essentially telling ourselves that our problems aren’t significant enough to matter when compared to worse struggles.
It’s also the case that, most of the time, every single one of our victories and accomplishments is hard-won. Latinos in the U.S. have to work harder for the same opportunities, and that’s particularly true for Latinas. It’s understandable that, given all that hard work, we don’t want to fall into victimhood by whining about the things we don’t get or achieve. This is also something we learn from our parents and grandparents. However, it’s not victimhood if Latinos are consistently underpaid and unrecognized for their contributions.
Latino toxic gratitude is a personal and community disservice
- An Eldest Daughter’s Journey From People Pleasing to Setting Boundaries ›
- Latino Family Dynamics: The Importance of Setting Boundaries ›
Mother’s Day is a day meant to honor and celebrate the special bond we share with our mothers or mother figures. The holiday is celebrated on the second Sunday of May in the U.S. and in some Latin American countries, like Cuba, Chile, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Ecuador, Honduras, and Venezuela. However, some Latina mothers celebrate the holiday twice, depending on where they’re from. For example, mothers of Mexican, Guatemalan, or Salvadoran descent will also observe Mother’s Day on May 10, so it’s a double celebration for them. Argentina, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Bolivia, Dominican Republic, Paraguay, and Panama have their own dates as well.
Usually, Mother’s Day is all about connecting with our mothers and pampering them throughout the day. For many Latina daughters, though, it’s not a happy occasion. Mother’s Day can be very complicated when your relationship with your mother is not a healthy one and you’ve made the decision to break or diminish ties with her. That’s the reality for many Latinas who have prioritized their own mental health and well-being by creating solid boundaries.
Marianismo often plays a role in difficult mother-daughter relationships. Rooted in Christianity, or rather the Roman Catholic beliefs the Spanish indoctrinated their newly conquered native subjects with during colonialism, marianismo is the other side of machismo. It defines gender-based expectations for Latin American women and it’s deeply ingrained in Latino culture. It’s because of marianismo that Latina women are taught from a young age that they have to be submissive, self-sacrificing, and pure. In other words, they have to be quiet instead of loud, weak instead of strong and are consistently discouraged from being independent, sexual, opinionated, and a host of other empowered traits.
@therapylux #marianismo #machismo #latinxtiktok #latinxmentalhealth #latinas
The idea behind marianismo is to be more like the Virgin Mary, a figure that’s considered to be the epitome of purity and goodness. Whether the messaging is subtle or explicit, marianismo in the Latino household imposes a narrow concept of what it means to be a woman and it reinforces powerlessness. It’s important to note that marianismo is not a burden every Latina carries, but many of them do.
In Latin American countries, society helps reinforce marianismo. In the U.S., things are slightly different, which is why first-generation immigrants break away from it more effectively. But this sometimes also means breaking away from their mothers, who often refuse to confront their harmful marianismo beliefs.
There’s no denying that the mother-daughter bond is one of the most important in a woman’s life. For Latinas in particular, mothers are highly influential figures in our lives. But what if your relationship with your mother is toxic and complicated? In Latino culture, it’s taboo to say anything negative about our mothers. Being critical of them means you’re “ungrateful,” but the truth is that some mothers fail their daughters. Especially in helping them foster an independent sense of self. Some mothers want their daughters to be a certain way instead of allowing them to be their own person, which is why they’re often critical and overly demanding.
@santamykah and that’s on being salty bc I’m daring to experiment, heal, and get to know myself at the age she was already raising 3 kids w a man she never loved 😗#toxic #toxicmom #healing #latina #firstgen #mentalhealth
Many Latinas have grown up with mothers who are too comfortable pointing out their flaws or dictating how they should be or act. This leads to constant opposition and a constant struggle to just be yourself. It makes many Latina daughters feel that who they are at their core is not good enough and fosters self-doubt at a level that affects everything else in their lives. Even as adults, we want our mothers to approve of us and love us for who we are, but there comes a time when enough is enough. There’s only so much toxic criticism one can take.
This is what leads many Latina daughters to cut ties with their mothers, however painful that may be. Needless to say, estrangement is frowned upon in the Latino community because we place a lot of value on family. “It doesn’t matter what we do to each other, at the end of the day, we’re family.” That’s the kind of mindset most Latinos have, but it’s neither healthy nor realistic. The way we treat each other matters and being related doesn’t mean we can get away with harmful behavior.
@latinxestrangement #latinxcommunity #marianismo #familyestrangement #latinos
In general, estrangement is seen as extreme and as a problem in itself. However, for many, estrangement is the solution and the relief they’ve been searching for. Make no mistake, the dilemma Latina daughters are often faced with is unsolvable. Choosing between having a relationship with your mother and doing what’s best for your own life isn’t as easy as it seems. However, it’s often the only thing left to do after you’ve tried everything else to have a better relationship with your mother.
There comes a point where you’re better off without them in your life. That’s a harsh truth to face because, even if estrangement is what’s best for you, you both lose something. But for many Latinas, that loss is a new beginning. It’s a weight lifted off their shoulders and a deep sigh of relief. It’s sad and tragic that it has to end that way, but it’s better than the alternative of maintaining that toxic mother-daughter relationship.
@nicolerodriguez94 Normalicemos alejarnos de nuestras familias, renunciar a ellos esta bien por nuestra salud mental, ahora estoy sanando ❤️🩹#greenscreen #saludmental #familiastoxicas #madretoxica #parati #fyp
On a larger scale, estrangement can help the Latino culture heal in the long term. Setting boundaries with our families, which isn’t something we’re encouraged to do in the Latino community, means we’re no longer letting abuse slide. The romanticization of family bonds and self-sacrifice doesn’t have the same hold. Rejecting that romanticization and rejecting marianismo is a way to help break the cycle.
Intergenerational emotional and psychological abuse has to be confronted and, sometimes, extreme measures are the only way to help the older generation face their harmful beliefs and values, and reframe what needs to be reframed. Setting boundaries is a shock to the system; a shock that lets our mothers and everyone else in our families know what kind of behavior isn’t acceptable anymore and never should’ve been in the first place. After that, the ball is in their court. They can either adapt or lose the privilege of being a part of your life.
While, for some, Mother’s Day is a celebration of the bonds they share with their mothers, for others, it’s a reminder of the breaking of those bonds. Whatever side you’re on, remember that love and respect is a two-way street.
- Encanto: The Authentic Struggles Faced by Latina Daughters ›
- Is Self-sacrifice a Love Language in the Latine Community? ›
- Latino Family Dynamics: The Importance of Setting Boundaries ›
