8 Tips to Manage Your Anxiety During Family Gatherings

Set Realistic Expectations

Let’s be real: not every family gathering is going to look like a Hallmark movie. And that’s okay! Accept that some conversations might get awkward, someone will probably burn a dish, and your uncle might still bring up politics. Remind yourself that perfection isn’t the goal—connection is.

Take Breaks When You Need Them

Family gatherings can be overstimulating, especially if there’s a lot of noise or you’re around people for an extended time. It’s perfectly okay to step outside for fresh air, find a quiet room to decompress, or even take a short walk. Taking a breather doesn’t make you rude—it makes you human.

Practice Deep Breathing or Grounding Techniques

When anxiety starts creeping in, your breath can be your best friend. Try the 4-7-8 method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Or use grounding techniques like naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. These simple practices can help bring you back to the present moment.

Know Your Triggers (and Have a Plan)

Does your aunt always comment on your life choices? Does the chaos of kids running around overwhelm you? Identifying what triggers your anxiety beforehand can help you prepare. For instance, if certain topics stress you out, rehearse a polite way to change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.

Limit Alcohol and Caffeine

It’s tempting to reach for that extra glass of wine or cup of coffee, but both can heighten anxiety. Alcohol might make you feel relaxed at first, but it can amplify feelings of stress later. Stick to water, herbal tea, or mocktails to keep your energy and emotions steady.

Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)

Boundaries are your holiday MVP. If you’re not up for answering personal questions, it’s okay to politely shut them down. A simple “I’d rather not talk about that, but tell me about your latest trip!” can work wonders. You don’t have to share or engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Have an Exit Strategy

If the gathering feels too overwhelming, it’s okay to leave early or skip certain events altogether. Let the host know in advance if you might need to cut out early, and plan your departure so you feel in control. There’s no shame in protecting your peace.

Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control how others behave, but you can control how you respond. Focus on enjoying the parts of the gathering that bring you joy—like catching up with a favorite cousin, enjoying a slice of pie, or soaking in the festive atmosphere. Shifting your focus to what you love about the season can help ease anxiety.

Family gatherings might never be 100% stress-free, but they don’t have to drive you up the wall either. By setting boundaries, taking breaks, and prioritizing your mental health, you can navigate holiday get-togethers in a way that feels good for you. So, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: you’ve got this.