Why Do We Pull Each Other Down? A Dive into the 'Crabs in a Bucket' Phenomenon

a girl giving the side eye to another girl that's on her phone

The phrase "crabs in a bucket" describes a phenomenon observed when multiple crabs are trapped inside a bucket or container. If one crab tries to climb out and escape, the others will pull it back down rather than letting it get away. Instead of working together to find a collective solution, or allowing even one member to succeed, the crabs hinder each other's progress.


This story is often used as a metaphor for human behavior, especially in the context of groups or communities where people might sabotage or bring down those among them who are trying to improve their circumstances or achieve success.

Sounds a bit like some human dynamics, right? If you're nodding, you're not alone.

But here's the thing: while crabs are just being crabs, humans have complex reasons rooted deep in history. For the Latino community, it's like piecing together a jigsaw of past events and experiences.

The roots of this mentality might stretch all the way back to centuries of colonization, oppression, and marginalization. In Latin America, colonizers often used "divide and conquer" strategies, turning indigenous groups against each other. Over time, many internalized these divisions, leading to competition rather than cooperation.

The experience of many Latino immigrants in the U.S. and other countries is colored by hardship. The constant struggle for resources, acceptance, and opportunities can sometimes foster a sense of scarcity, leading individuals to believe that another's success diminishes their own. But underlying these battles are deep-seated beliefs and feelings, born from years of history and personal experiences. Let's dive a bit deeper into what some of these might look like:

Scarcity Mindset

At its core, the scarcity mindset is rooted in the belief that there's a finite amount of resources, whether those are jobs, opportunities, or recognition. In many Latino communities, this stems from genuine experiences of deprivation, whether in their home countries or as immigrants in a new land. When every chance feels like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, watching someone else seize it might feel like a door being shut. Or the classic scenario of fighting each other for resources that have been intentionally limited that then keeps those in the under-resourced communities fighting each other for the crumbs, instead of recognizing that an entire pie exists and that certain actors unfairly distributing that pie are the actual problem.

This competitive edge can overshadow camaraderie, leading to a situation where people might try to outdo one another instead of lending a helping hand or coming together to fix the fundamental problem of inequitable distribution. Scarcity mindset fuels the conquer and divide fire.

Internalized Oppression

Generations of being portrayed as "less than," whether through colonization, media stereotypes, or societal prejudices, can take a toll on a community's self-image and sense of self-worth. This internalized belief can sometimes manifest in negative reactions when someone within the community seems to break free from these expectations.

Their success is a mirror, reflecting both what is possible and the limitations one has internalized, thus creating a sense of discomfort or even disbelief. This causes the classic envidia, casting of the evil eye, or destructive acts of sabotage. Rather than feeling proud of the achievements of others, those achievements are just painful reminders of their own feelings or beliefs of inadequacy.

The Need for Validation

Modern culture with social media deeply embedded in our lives has turned the need for validation into sometimes harmful psychological conditions. When you're often made to feel as though you have to prove your worth—approval can feel like a deeply sought-after prize. When another member of the community receives widespread recognition or achieves something noteworthy, it can evoke feelings of envy or inferiority in others. Related to internalized oppression in that low self-esteem is also present here, in this situation, not getting the same validation for perhaps similar acts or achievements doesn’t invoke mutual pride. Instead, it inspires the silent question: "Why them and not me?"

Fear of Abandonment

In close-knit communities, there's often an unspoken pact of solidarity. Achieving significant success or "making it out" can be perceived as a betrayal or abandonment of one's roots. The community might fear that their successful members will “forget where they came from,” while those who achieve success might grapple with some form of survivor's guilt.

Understanding these complexities is half the battle. Now, armed with this knowledge, what's the next step? How do we transcend these ingrained behaviors and mindsets? While it's true that acknowledging the problems and their roots is essential, it's equally important to be proactive in finding solutions.

Breaking the Cycle

It can seem tough to undo years of entrenched beliefs and behaviors. But changing the narrative, championing unity, and uplifting each other is completely within reach, and everyone can play an active role:

  • Celebrate Every Win, Big or Small: It's all about the mindset. Start seeing every achievement - whether it's your neighbor's kid getting into college or your cousin's bakery opening - as a win for the community. When one person succeeds, it can open doors for many others. Organizing community events to recognize and applaud local achievements can help reinforce this belief.
  • Community Building, One Program at a Time: Collaboration over competition, always! How about setting up mentorship programs? Imagine the local entrepreneur guiding young aspirants over a cup of coffee every weekend. Or study groups where students share resources and pull all-nighters together before exams. By pooling our strengths, we're proving that together, we achieve more.
  • Educate, Reflect, Grow: Knowledge isn’t just power; it's transformational. Imagine hosting a monthly book club where everyone reads about and discusses community growth, or even better, invite guest speakers to chat about breaking societal molds. Awareness sessions about the pitfalls of the "crabs in a bucket" mentality can lead to some eye-opening conversations and personal growth.
  • Share Stories that Resonate: Positive reinforcement through storytelling can be impactful. Ever heard a story that just sticks with you? Those tales of unity, where someone not only climbs up but also throws a rope for others to grab hold of, are gold. Weekly storytelling evenings at a local park, or even on online platforms, where everyone from grandparents to kids shares tales of camaraderie can be something magical.

By understanding the historical and psychological context of this so-called “crabs in a bucket” mentality, we can start to pave the path forward. After all, a community's strength lies in its unity, not in pulling each other down.

a woman giving the side eye to a man

Have you ever met someone who seems overly confident, self-centered, or even downright rude? Maybe they constantly talk about themselves, disregard your feelings, or even manipulate situations to their advantage. And, if you're anything like us and countless other Latinas, you might've thought, is this person just a purebred a**hole, or are they a narcissist?

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Image by Sayuri Jimenez.

Nathalie Molina Niño has never been one to shy away from breaking barriers, and now, she’s focusing her attention on a new mission: demystifying corporate boardrooms for women, especially Latinas. Molina Niño is the President of Known, an asset management and financial services firm, a veteran tech entrepreneur and builder capitalist, and a board member at the iconic lingerie Brand, Hanky Panky, and others.

Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”

flags of latin american countries fly behind performers wearing culturally traditional clothing

Ever noticed how September in Latin America is just one big celebration? As we wave goodbye to summer and avoid winter as long as we can, the streets come alive with parades, music, and festivities. Many Latin American countries celebrate their freedom this month, commemorating their hard-fought battles for independence from colonial domination. Let’s dive into these significant days and understand what makes each unique.

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