Parentification in the Latino Community: Growing Up Too Fast

A Latina woman and a Latina girl, both at the same height level, gaze into each other’s eyes.

In Mexico, Día del Niño (Children's Day) is a commemorative day that honors children and promotes their well-being. Since 1925, the country has been celebrating children on April 30 through many different activities and events to entertain, educate, and bring joy to little ones. This day recognizes how important children are in society and also how essential it is to provide them with a healthy, well-adjusted childhood they can look back on. Día del Niño is also committed to promoting literacy through cultural activities and parent involvement.


On the topic of a healthy, well-adjusted childhood, we have to talk about the fact that not all children get that privilege. The ideal parent/child dynamic consists of parents providing the care children need so they can focus only on learning and enjoying the process of growing up. However, not all parents have the mental stability, emotional maturity, health, and/or resources to provide that, resulting in parentification.

Parentification 101

Parentification happens when parents rely on children for emotional and/or practical support. In other words, the roles are reversed; the child becomes the provider of emotional, physical, and/or mental support. Parentified children often take on adult responsibilities like caring for siblings or parents, housekeeping, household chores, paying bills, and more.

infographic that explains when parentification can occurImage share by latibulecounseling on InstagramImage share by latibulecounseling on Instagram

Parentified children also assume the responsibility of listening to parents vent about their problems, offering advice, mediating between parents or family members if the relationship is volatile, and, generally, providing emotional support. Parentified children do all of these things before they’re even developed enough, but they have to. This is known as “growing up too fast,” and while this level of adaptability can seem impressive, it often leads to trauma.

Parentification in the Latino community

In 2015, a study set out to examine the implications of race/ethnicity and gender on parentification. They worked with 977 college students who had a history of parentification and found that males had a higher level of parentification than females across all racial/ethnic groups. Moreover, they found that Latinos and Blacks had a higher level of parentification than white Americans.

Unfortunately, parentification is very common in the Latino community, especially among first-generation children of Latino immigrants. The most common example of parentification in the Latino community is the “translator child,” who serves as the language mediator between parents and the outside world. In this role, children get exposed to issues and information beyond their years. That may include legal problems, medical problems, debt, bills, and so much more.

@drlesliegonzalez

And that’s on me not ever asking for help 🙃 #latinostiktok #hispanictiktok #tiktoklatino #latina #firstgen #generationaltrauma

The unavoidable result of parentification is that children develop trauma that can manifest in many different ways. For example, they may develop an insecure attachment style due to the lack of support and structure at home. This has repercussions later in life because our attachment style affects how we approach relationships. In the case of insecure attachment, it can make it difficult for them to develop deep emotional connections as adults.

Parentified children may also suffer from anxiety, depression, and even anger management issues throughout their lives. Moreover, because they didn’t have anyone to turn to for help during their formative years, they may develop ineffective coping skills, which affects how they interact with the world around them. Not just as children, but also as adults.

@micheline.maalouf

Parentification can lead to so many issues with our own self, identify, worrh, and connection. Being a parentified child means we didnt really get to experience our childhood as children and sonwe didnt get to learn about ourselves and what we like and we didn’t learn that we were worthy despite our accomplishments and what we do for others #parentification #parentified #cptsd #trauma

Healing your parentified inner child

While the trauma of parentification is difficult, it doesn’t have to be a lifetime issue. The journey to healing from parentification is through inner work and therapy. In the Latino community, mental health is often stigmatized, but it’s important to break the code of silence around it and break the pattern to find healing.

The first step is the most difficult because talking about your childhood as a parentified child makes many feel guilty, ungrateful, and critical of their parents. However, loving and respecting your parents doesn’t mean it’s wrong to acknowledge the things they did that hurt you. Acknowledging them will allow you to understand your experiences in a way you weren’t able to as a child.

Image shared by realpixc on Instagram

Image shared by realpixc on Instagram

With understanding often comes the need for open communication with your parents. If you’re able or willing to seek those conversations, understand that they won’t be easy. Your parents will have a different perspective and they may (often inadvertently) try to invalidate your experiences by saying that they had it worse. If they do that, avoid seeing it as an attack and take it as an opportunity to ask them about it.

More often than not, parents also have trauma they need to heal from, and approaching the conversation with grace can help them as much as it can help you. Moreover, it’s important to create healthy boundaries with your parents. Parentified children often continue the role well into adulthood with their parents being highly dependent on them. Setting limits is part of your healing and breaking the habits you’ve been maintaining your entire life.

@drshantesays

Honoring your parents doesnt give them license for mistreatment. Its okay to set boundaries to preserve your mental health. #mentalhealth #settingboundaries #healthyrelationship #relationship #mindset

It’s also essential to let go of the guilt of wanting to heal from parentification. It may feel like you’re abandoning your parents or being selfish or a bad daughter or son, but you’re not. You’re just working on balancing the scales, fixing your codependent relationship with your parents, and seeking your own freedom so you can live your life as an adult to the fullest.

@latinahermana

To my First-Gens, daughter of immigrants, parentified children, it’s okay to put yourself first. 🫶🏽🤍 #firstgenlatina #hijamayor #latinastiktok #daughterofimmigrants #parentified #firstgenlatinaissues

On this Día del Niño, we encourage you to seek healing by acknowledging your parentified inner child and holding space for it. Also, we encourage you to celebrate children and champion their childhood in any way you can, whether you’re a parent, sibling, aunt or uncle, grandparent, godparent, etc.

bop the bigot video game logo

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

a woman giving the side eye to a man

Have you ever met someone who seems overly confident, self-centered, or even downright rude? Maybe they constantly talk about themselves, disregard your feelings, or even manipulate situations to their advantage. And, if you're anything like us and countless other Latinas, you might've thought, is this person just a purebred a**hole, or are they a narcissist?

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woman surrounded by colorful illustrations
Image by Sayuri Jimenez.

Nathalie Molina Niño has never been one to shy away from breaking barriers, and now, she’s focusing her attention on a new mission: demystifying corporate boardrooms for women, especially Latinas. Molina Niño is the President of Known, an asset management and financial services firm, a veteran tech entrepreneur and builder capitalist, and a board member at the iconic lingerie Brand, Hanky Panky, and others.

Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”