In The Community
What is Machismo?
Machismo is defined as cultural expectations or behaviors of men in Latino culture that set out to prove their masculinity. Both negative and positive aspects accompany the set of beliefs which include bravery, honor, dominance, aggression, sexism, sexual prowess, and reserved emotions, among others. Research indicates that machismo affects everything from male self-esteem to their ability to authentically connect with others which are connected to the actions men often demonstrate so they can be perceived as strong, capable, and powerful.
Many in Latino households were raised in a culture where men are expected to work, provide, and be the head of the household within the context of machismo and marianismo, and despite the evolving gender paradigms in modern society, the effects of machismo continue generationally.
Authoritative vs. Authoritarian Parenting
Photo by Lucas Metz on UnsplashA 2016 study from the University of Texas Austin’s School of social work found that the authoritarian form of parenting, which is all too common in the Latine community, is a much less effective form of parenting compared to others. Authoritarian parenting centers around the concept of enforcing strict conduct and rules in children, which creates an almost militant level of expectation of respeto.
Respeto is a value that feeds into the hierarchy of social norms in making children overly obedient to their parents. Those same parents, in turn, are obedient to either their own parents or any elders, with the men taking the role of patriarch and final decision-maker.
That same study found that authoritative parenting, which is different than authoritarian parenting, was found to be more effective in higher academic achievements in children. The study explains that authoritarian styles enforce the rules but don’t provide the why behind those rules, while authoritative parenting enforces the rules and expectations, but provides explanations and justifications while doing so. Support and nurturing attitudes also accompany the authoritative parenting style compared to authoritarian.
Combine this authoritarian style with machismo, and we get the stereotypical Latino father we’re all familiar with who doesn’t show emotion, isn’t allowed to cry (unless drunk and singing along to Vicente Fernandez), and rarely provides emotional support or guidance.
Can Newer Generations of Latino Fathers End Machismo?
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on UnsplashNewer generations of Latinos can change what it means to be a “real man.” Oftentimes Latino culture not only reinforces the role of men as the provider but ascribes an additional sense of pride in being the main breadwinner of their households. As Latinas continue to outpace Latinos in things like educational attainment and get closer to closing the wage gap between Latinos and Latinas (but not white men), it shouldn’t be viewed as shameful that Latino men make less income or choose to be stay-at-home parents.
In machista culture, it’s considered a weakness when men express their feelings or emotions. According to a 2019 study regarding gender roles in the Latino community, women are found to be twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression vs men. While the correlation between gender and depression in the Latino community isn’t explained, it is suspected that men are less likely to be diagnosed with depression because of the cultural expectation to not express emotions, therefore, leading to a higher rate of undiagnosed depression.
Transforming Machismo
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Unlearning cultural expectations is hard and requires a collective effort to change. Enabling men to be their authentic selves involves a level of self-reflection some might be unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. The harmful culture isn’t just because of resistant men, it’s also women who reinforce the norms they’re used to. There’s a high level of self-awareness that’s associated with becoming emotionally intelligent, and the cultural shift will occur when enough people reevaluate their roles within that culture and decide they won’t recreate cycles of harm.
When the cultural expectations of machismo are diminished this will allow Latino men to express their true, authentic selves, and create a culture where Latino fathers will no longer be categorized as cold, distant, and emotionally detached and will be known for what we know to be true: Latino fathers have enormous hearts and emotions that run as deep as their cultural roots.
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Women Mature Faster Than Men
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Ah, the age-old notion that "women mature faster than men." We've all heard it, and it's often used to justify relationships with significant age gaps or to excuse men's childish behaviors.
Sure, there might be some scientific validity to the idea. Studies show that certain parts of the female brain might develop faster than in males. But maturity isn't just about physical development. It's a complex blend of emotional, intellectual, and social growth.
When we reduce maturity to a simple gender-based comparison, we miss the bigger picture. People mature at different rates, regardless of their gender. Some men might show incredible emotional intelligence and social skills at a young age, while some women might take more time to develop those traits.
Using this stereotype to justify age gaps in relationships or to make sure women assume their caretaker roles at a young age is unfair. It perpetuates outdated gender roles and limits our understanding of what true maturity really means.
Maturity is a personal journey unique to each individual. It's not something that can be defined by a one-size-fits-all statement.
Your Biological Clock is Ticking
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This is a popular phrase mostly directed at women. It's often a warning about declining fertility as we age. And while there is some truth to the biological realities, let's explore the bigger picture.
Firstly, this phrase puts undue pressure on women, as if their sole purpose is tied to having children. Secondly, it's not just women who face fertility challenges with age. Men's fertility also declines, and it can affect a child's health too - with recent studies showing that while women continue to be screened in pregnancy for genetic abnormalities like Down Syndrome, it turns out that at much as 20% of Down Syndrome abnormalities can now be traced to aging sperm.
Everyone's fertility journey is different. Some women are most fertile in their early 20s, while others may have more time. According to some experts, fertility starts to decline after age 32 and becomes more challenging after 37. For men, fertility can begin to decrease in their 40s.
The idea of a "biological clock" mainly refers to the challenge of getting pregnant later in life. However, it also symbolizes the psychological pressure some feel when they haven't had a child by a certain age.
Thankfully, advancements in reproductive health care offer more choices. Fertility treatments like egg freezing allow women to preserve their eggs for the future, giving them more control over their family planning.
Needless to say, the decision of when to have a child is deeply personal. External pressures, such as career and relationships, can influence this decision. But ultimately, it's about what feels right for you, both physically and mentally. Whether it's having children early, later, or not at all, what matters most is that we make these decisions on our terms, and now, with the help of science, on our timelines.
Men Cheat More Than Women Because It's Just "In their Nature"
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This idea suggests that men are biologically wired to be unfaithful as if it's some instinct ingrained in them since ancient times.
There might have been some evolutionary factors in play in the long distant past, but our behaviors today are far more complex than simple survival instincts. Luckily, we've come a long way from our hunter-gatherer days, and society has evolved with us.
Infidelity is influenced by a range of individual, relational, and societal factors, not just gender. Saying that cheating is "in their nature" takes away personal responsibility and normalizes hurtful actions. It perpetuates the harmful stereotype that men are slaves to their sexual urges, which is far from the truth.
Humans, regardless of gender, have the ability to make thoughtful choices and practice self-control.
Women are More Emotional Than Men
Psychology research tells us that emotions are a universal human experience. Men feel emotions just as intensely as women do. The real difference lies in how emotions are expressed and processed, and this is shaped by societal norms and expectations.
For example, men may be less likely to openly express their feelings due to the pressures of traditional masculinity. Society often tells them that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. This myth restricts emotional freedom and expression for everyone, not just women.
The idea that 'real men' don't cry or express emotions is harmful. Emotional vulnerability is not a weakness; it's a natural part of being human. Suppressing emotions can negatively impact mental health and prevent men from seeking help or sharing their feelings.
This stereotype also connects to the myth that women can’t be leaders because they’re “too emotional.” It suggests that women are incapable of making rational decisions due to their emotions. But this is far from the truth.
Women have proven themselves as effective leaders in various fields, from politics to business. In fact, studies show that women often excel in leadership skills like collaboration, empathy, and multitasking. Emotions can enhance leadership by promoting understanding and effective communication. In any case, they’re a strength, not a weakness.
Women are Naturally More Nurturing, Men are Naturally More Aggressive
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These outdated stereotypes have long been used to justify harmful beliefs rooted in machismo and marianismo. In countless instances within Latino families, women have been unjustly burdened with enduring any form of abuse from men (with the excuse that men are incapable of controlling themselves), all in the name of maintaining family unity.
The idea that women are naturally more nurturing is often tied to the expectation that they should be caretakers and mothers. While it's true that certain hormones like oxytocin promote bonding behaviors, men also produce these hormones. The difference in nurturing behavior is more about societal expectations than biology. Men can be just as loving and caring as women, and many thrive in caregiving roles.
Similarly, the belief that men are naturally more aggressive due to testosterone is an oversimplification. Yes, testosterone can influence aggression, but it's not the sole determinant. Aggressive behavior is shaped by a combination of factors, including upbringing, social environment, and individual temperament. Testosterone levels can vary greatly among men, and many with high levels do not exhibit increased aggression. On the other hand, women, who typically have lower testosterone levels, can and do exhibit aggressive behaviors too.
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These myths not only limit our understanding of human behavior but perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes.
So yes, there are biological differences between men and women, but that doesn't mean we should buy into harmful myths and stereotypes. It's crucial to think critically and stay informed to break free from restrictive gender roles. When it comes to growing up, expressing emotions, fertility, or wanting to become parents, everyone is different.
Generalizations can oversimplify and misunderstand the richness of our human experiences, and create easy scapegoats to keep shifting blame in defense and support of the patriarchy.
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Video games, once seen as a pastime exclusively for children, have grown into a multi-billion-dollar industry with a vast adult demographic. Over the years, games have evolved, becoming a legitimate form of art and entertainment for adults. For many men, this evolution has made it socially acceptable to continue gaming well into adulthood.
Similarly, collecting action figures, Legos, or other childhood memorabilia is often seen as a harmless and even endearing hobby for many adult men. It's viewed as an avenue for nostalgia and a bridge to one’s younger self.
Women, on the other hand, face more rigid expectations. Activities or interests deemed "childish" are seen as immaturity or an inability to grow up. A woman who collects dolls or still enjoys a children's show might even be made fun of. The societal narrative suggests that women should transition from playing with toys to nurturing real children, and those who don’t follow this path are looked upon with skepticism.
These gendered norms, when placed within the context of Latine culture, become even more pronounced. Latine culture, rich in tradition, places a strong emphasis on family values and roles. Often, Latinas are expected to become the backbone of the family, taking on caregiving roles, and preparing to be mothers. The concept of "marianismo" – the idea that Latinas should be virtuous, sacrificing, and motherly, emulating the Virgin Mary – illustrates this perfectly.
Photo by Polesie Toys: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-girl-in-red-long-sleeve-dress-holding-a-baby-doll-toy-4491692/
Thus, a Latina woman showing interest in what society deems as "childish" might face stronger pushback than her counterparts in other cultures. The expectation is for her to mature quickly, often at the expense of her individual passions and interests.
Navigating societal expectations is a challenging maze that seems to expand with each turn. However, the question remains: Why should society dictate which childhood hobbies are deemed appropriate to continue into adulthood, all based on our gender?
These activities, often dismissed as 'childish,' can be therapeutic outlets that allow us to destress, express creativity, and maintain a sense of continuity in our lives. They're an echo of simpler times, bringing a sense of joy and comfort that can serve as a counterweight to adult pressures and responsibilities. In essence, there should be no guilt or shame attached to enjoying what we love, regardless of our age or gender. Let's not forget that self-care isn't just about diet, exercise, or meditation—it's also about allowing ourselves to partake in activities that bring us happiness and inner peace.
The hope is for a future where individuals' passions and interests are celebrated and encouraged, irrespective of their age, gender, or cultural background, where men and women alike can enjoy their love for video games, toys, or any other 'childish' pastime without fear of judgment or societal scorn.
After all, who said growing up means leaving behind the things that once brought joy?
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