Top 10 Things Latina Family Matriarchs Should Stop Doing

portrait of a Latina mother with her sons and daughter

When people think of Latina women, the “female alpha” often comes to mind. Everyone has at least one matriarch in the family and they’re the ones who run the show. If you cross them, you’re toast. For most people, that Latina matriarch figure is their grandmother, but it can also be your mother, an aunt, the eldest sister, etc., it all depends on everyone’s family dynamics. One thing’s for certain, though, there’s been a shift in what the Latina family matriarch is supposed to represent. With that, there are many outdated attitudes and habits that need to be ditched. Here are the top 10 things Latina family matriarchs should stop doing:


Having overly controlling behaviors

Portrait of a Latina mom

Photo by Ashwin Vaswani on Unsplash

One common trait among Latina matriarchs is a tendency to be overly controlling, especially of younger women in the family. While it may come from a place of love and concern, that kind of behavior often leads to repression and the imposition of traditional gender roles. Micromanaging every aspect of someone’s life, even if you think is for the best, will only lead to resentment. It will also hold that person you love back. Guidance and advice are welcome, controlling behaviors need to stay where they belong: in the past.

Guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation

Portrait of a Latina mom looking seriousPhoto by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

It’s not uncommon for Latina matriarchs, especially those who come from an older generation, to rely on guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation to influence family members. Unsurprisingly, this kind of tactic creates toxic dynamics and it corrodes what family is supposed to be. Family is supposed to trust each other enough to have honest conversations and to respect each other’s decisions. Imposing one’s will through manipulation is simply not the right way to do things, and it never was.

Imposing unrealistic expectations onto others

distraught woman sitting by a lake

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Latina matriarchs often want family members to achieve their full potential. While that’s all fine and good, there’s such a thing as setting excessively high expectations. It’s a burden that can be unbearable for family members and create unnecessary stress for them. Matriarchs should encourage their loved ones to set realistic goals that align with what they want. They should also celebrate whatever progress they make with them instead of expecting perfection.

Neglecting their own self-care

senior woman holding a hands mirror showing her reflection

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels

The thing about Latina matriarchs is that everything they do is a reflection of how they were raised. In most cases, matriarchs were raised to prioritize everyone else above themselves. This is the legacy of marianismo and it’s one we should all strive to break away from. Matriarchs need to learn to prioritize themselves for a chance; not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They don’t have to sacrifice themselves to support their families, they just need to stand beside them.

Suppressing individuality and independence

Latina mom and adult daughter with serious expressions

Photo by Tiger Lily on Pexels

Whether they’re consciously aware of it or not, Latina matriarchs often focus on perpetuating traditional gender roles. One of the ways they do that is by discouraging family members, especially women, from expressing their individuality and independence. Matriarchs often have a very clear idea (rooted in machismo and marianismo) of what men and women should look and act like, but they must get with the times. Traditional gender roles are no longer the norm and encouraging everyone to embrace their uniqueness is a more effective way of helping raise assertive, confident people.

Encouraging unhealthy competition among family members

Young upset woman

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels

Latina family matriarchs often create an atmosphere of competition among family members. In their position of authority, they know that their approval and praise is a strong motivator. However, favoritism only breeds unnecessary resentment and it sours relationships among family members. Is that really worth it? Instead of encouraging unhealthy competition, promoting cooperation, collaboration, and mutual support is much more helpful.

Avoiding difficult conversations

Latina mom and adult daughter with serious expressions

Photo by Tiger Lily on Pexels

One thing about Latina family matriarchs is that they can be masters at avoiding difficult conversations. Especially when they know they’re in the wrong, but they don’t want to admit defeat. “Because I say so” is not a valid argument and it never has been. It has lost its power, so Latina matriarchs need to learn how to cultivate open lines of communication. Working past the discomfort of honest conversations will always be worth the effort.

Bulldozing over everyone else’s boundaries

The gesture of a mother pointing her finger while she is scolding

Sometimes, it’s a struggle for Latina family matriarchs not to trample all over people’s boundaries. Again, it’s the issue of wanting to impose their will because they think they’re right or they think that’s what’s best for the other person, no matter what that person thinks or wants. As families, it’s important for everyone to not just set their own boundaries, but also respect everyone else’s. It’s the only way to create healthy relationships and matriarchs are not the exception.

Using shame or criticism as discipline

women from a Latino family looking serious and thoughtful

Photo by Tiger Lily on Pexels

Latina family matriarchs can be quite harsh sometimes because they have a rough idea of what discipline should be. Often, they turn to harsh criticism or shaming to get a message across, and that’s just not good for anyone. On the one hand, it can damage the self-esteem of the other person. On the other hand, it can corrupt the bond. Constructive feedback, positive reinforcement, and teaching valuable life lessons are much better methods and they can lead to better results.

Resisting change and innovation

Portrait of a Latino mother

Photo by Victor L on Pexels

When Latina family matriarchs are set in their ways, they’re very resistant to change and innovation. They refuse to consider new ideas and they struggle to adapt to the way things are today. Times have changed and they will continue to do so; refusing to learn from younger generations is a mistake. It doesn’t mean that traditional values don’t have a place in this new world, it just means that they have to evolve, and matriarchs should evolve with them.

This Viral Video Game Is Changing the Face of Voter Outreach

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

hands holding up yellow protest signs that say Hands Off Our Bodies
Photo Credit: Gayatri Malhotra via Unsplash

Originally published in Common Dreams. Reprinted with permission.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

In November, abortion rights measures will appear on ballots across ten states, including Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Nevada, and New York, where Latinos make up a significant portion of the electorate. For decades, pundits and politicians have recycled long-held misconceptions about Latino voters and abortion access, citing our conservative and religious beliefs.

Anti-abortion extremists have long fueled these misconceptions through misinformation and disinformation campaigns targeting Latino communities with egregious lies and inflammatory rhetoric about abortion. Yet, polling, focus groups, and direct interactions with Latino communities have debunked these outdated tropes.

The Latino electorate will prove decisive in securing reproductive freedom and abortion access through ballot measures around the country, particularly in states where Latinos are a significant portion of the electorate.

For Latinos, the freedom to decide, a pillar of our American democracy, is critical. Meanwhile, Latinos are being hit directly with anti-abortion efforts that take away that freedom such as the six-week abortion ban put into effect by the Florida Supreme Court and the 1864 abortion ban upheld by the Arizona Supreme Court. In the wake of the Dobbs decision, people of color and Latinas have felt the impact of a lack of abortion access, an element of basic healthcare.

A 2023 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families estimated that nearly 6.5 million Latinas, or 42% of all Latinas of reproductive age in the country, live in a state that either had or was likely to ban abortion. Ironically, it will be abortion access and anti-choice efforts to restrict freedom of choice that will mobilize Latino voters this election.

In a poll conducted by three national reproductive justice organizations, 87% of Latinas named abortion and women’s rights as one of their top priorities as they head to the polls. Another battleground poll conducted by Somos PAC and BSP Research found that 61% of Latino registered voters expressed a more positive/favorable view of Kamala Harris after hearing that she will protect abortion rights, versus only 19% of Latinos who said they had a more negative view of Harris after hearing that.

In key states to secure the White House and both chambers, Latinos make up large chunks of the electorate: Arizona (25%), Colorado (15%), Florida (20%), Nevada (20%), and New York (12%). In the face of unprecedented attacks on basic healthcare access and targeted attempts by extremists to mislead and divide our community on this issue, this November Latinos will be key deciders on abortion access across the country.

Mari Urbina, Managing Director of Indivisible, Battleground Arizona Lead and former Harry Reid advisor.

Héctor Sánchez Barba is president and CEO of Mi Familia Vota (MFV).