Top 10 Things Latina Family Matriarchs Should Stop Doing

portrait of a Latina mother with her sons and daughter

When people think of Latina women, the “female alpha” often comes to mind. Everyone has at least one matriarch in the family and they’re the ones who run the show. If you cross them, you’re toast. For most people, that Latina matriarch figure is their grandmother, but it can also be your mother, an aunt, the eldest sister, etc., it all depends on everyone’s family dynamics. One thing’s for certain, though, there’s been a shift in what the Latina family matriarch is supposed to represent. With that, there are many outdated attitudes and habits that need to be ditched. Here are the top 10 things Latina family matriarchs should stop doing:


Having overly controlling behaviors

Portrait of a Latina mom

Photo by Ashwin Vaswani on Unsplash

One common trait among Latina matriarchs is a tendency to be overly controlling, especially of younger women in the family. While it may come from a place of love and concern, that kind of behavior often leads to repression and the imposition of traditional gender roles. Micromanaging every aspect of someone’s life, even if you think is for the best, will only lead to resentment. It will also hold that person you love back. Guidance and advice are welcome, controlling behaviors need to stay where they belong: in the past.

Guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation

Portrait of a Latina mom looking seriousPhoto by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

It’s not uncommon for Latina matriarchs, especially those who come from an older generation, to rely on guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation to influence family members. Unsurprisingly, this kind of tactic creates toxic dynamics and it corrodes what family is supposed to be. Family is supposed to trust each other enough to have honest conversations and to respect each other’s decisions. Imposing one’s will through manipulation is simply not the right way to do things, and it never was.

Imposing unrealistic expectations onto others

distraught woman sitting by a lake

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Latina matriarchs often want family members to achieve their full potential. While that’s all fine and good, there’s such a thing as setting excessively high expectations. It’s a burden that can be unbearable for family members and create unnecessary stress for them. Matriarchs should encourage their loved ones to set realistic goals that align with what they want. They should also celebrate whatever progress they make with them instead of expecting perfection.

Neglecting their own self-care

senior woman holding a hands mirror showing her reflection

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The thing about Latina matriarchs is that everything they do is a reflection of how they were raised. In most cases, matriarchs were raised to prioritize everyone else above themselves. This is the legacy of marianismo and it’s one we should all strive to break away from. Matriarchs need to learn to prioritize themselves for a chance; not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They don’t have to sacrifice themselves to support their families, they just need to stand beside them.

Suppressing individuality and independence

Latina mom and adult daughter with serious expressions

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Whether they’re consciously aware of it or not, Latina matriarchs often focus on perpetuating traditional gender roles. One of the ways they do that is by discouraging family members, especially women, from expressing their individuality and independence. Matriarchs often have a very clear idea (rooted in machismo and marianismo) of what men and women should look and act like, but they must get with the times. Traditional gender roles are no longer the norm and encouraging everyone to embrace their uniqueness is a more effective way of helping raise assertive, confident people.

Encouraging unhealthy competition among family members

Young upset woman

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Latina family matriarchs often create an atmosphere of competition among family members. In their position of authority, they know that their approval and praise is a strong motivator. However, favoritism only breeds unnecessary resentment and it sours relationships among family members. Is that really worth it? Instead of encouraging unhealthy competition, promoting cooperation, collaboration, and mutual support is much more helpful.

Avoiding difficult conversations

Latina mom and adult daughter with serious expressions

Photo by Tiger Lily on Pexels

One thing about Latina family matriarchs is that they can be masters at avoiding difficult conversations. Especially when they know they’re in the wrong, but they don’t want to admit defeat. “Because I say so” is not a valid argument and it never has been. It has lost its power, so Latina matriarchs need to learn how to cultivate open lines of communication. Working past the discomfort of honest conversations will always be worth the effort.

Bulldozing over everyone else’s boundaries

The gesture of a mother pointing her finger while she is scolding

Sometimes, it’s a struggle for Latina family matriarchs not to trample all over people’s boundaries. Again, it’s the issue of wanting to impose their will because they think they’re right or they think that’s what’s best for the other person, no matter what that person thinks or wants. As families, it’s important for everyone to not just set their own boundaries, but also respect everyone else’s. It’s the only way to create healthy relationships and matriarchs are not the exception.

Using shame or criticism as discipline

women from a Latino family looking serious and thoughtful

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Latina family matriarchs can be quite harsh sometimes because they have a rough idea of what discipline should be. Often, they turn to harsh criticism or shaming to get a message across, and that’s just not good for anyone. On the one hand, it can damage the self-esteem of the other person. On the other hand, it can corrupt the bond. Constructive feedback, positive reinforcement, and teaching valuable life lessons are much better methods and they can lead to better results.

Resisting change and innovation

Portrait of a Latino mother

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When Latina family matriarchs are set in their ways, they’re very resistant to change and innovation. They refuse to consider new ideas and they struggle to adapt to the way things are today. Times have changed and they will continue to do so; refusing to learn from younger generations is a mistake. It doesn’t mean that traditional values don’t have a place in this new world, it just means that they have to evolve, and matriarchs should evolve with them.

woman surrounded by colorful illustrations
Image by Sayuri Jimenez.

Nathalie Molina Niño has never been one to shy away from breaking barriers, and now, she’s focusing her attention on a new mission: demystifying corporate boardrooms for women, especially Latinas. Molina Niño is the President of Known, an asset management and financial services firm, a veteran tech entrepreneur and builder capitalist, and a board member at the iconic lingerie Brand, Hanky Panky, and others.

Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”

flags of latin american countries fly behind performers wearing culturally traditional clothing

Ever noticed how September in Latin America is just one big celebration? As we wave goodbye to summer and avoid winter as long as we can, the streets come alive with parades, music, and festivities. Many Latin American countries celebrate their freedom this month, commemorating their hard-fought battles for independence from colonial domination. Let’s dive into these significant days and understand what makes each unique.

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