10 Signs That Man You’re Considering Dating is Machista (& How to Talk About It)

Black and white portrait of a woman with a thoughtful expression



What is Machismo?

Street poster denouncing machismo culture.

Photo by Paul Lowry on Flickr

“Machismo” is a term that comes from the Spanish word “macho,” meaning “male.” In the Latino community, machismo refers to the attitudes and values that perpetuate traditional gender roles, emphasizing dominance over women. While progress has been made in challenging machismo, some people still hold onto “machista” attitudes, whether they’re aware of it or not.

If you’re in a relationship, identifying signs of machismo and addressing them is essential to make sure you have equitable dynamics. Here are 10 signs of machismo to watch out for and strategies for talking about them with your partner:

He dominates conversations

Young couple talking over coffee

Machista men tend to dominate conversations with women, often talking over them, interrupting them in the middle of sentences, or dismissing their opinions entirely. You can address this by pointing out this behavior to your partner and expressing a need for more active listening. It’s also important to correct the behavior in the moment. If you’re interrupted, talked over, or dismissed, it’s okay to stop the conversation to address that and let him know it’s not okay. Conversations are two-way streets!

He reinforces traditional gender roles

A woman cleans the floor while man uses laptop on the couch

Machismo is all about reinforcing what they consider to be traditional gender roles, so it’s important to understand what your partner’s views are. If they believe women should always take care of the house and that should be their priority, that’s a red flag. You can address this by having a conversation about gender roles and your views on them, emphasizing shared responsibilities and mutual respect. If you find that your values don’t align and he’s inflexible, it’s a good idea to reconsider the future of the relationship.

He is controlling

A couple arguing

Controlling behavior is a tell-tale sign of a machista man, and it’s very important to identify it as early as possible. If your partner wants to have a say in what you wear, limit your interactions with other men or women they find threatening, and monitor everything you do, you have to point it out. Remind them you’re your own person and you need independence within the relationship. If they take offense to that or try to manipulate you into accepting it, consider that the relationship is not right for you.

He dismisses women’s issues

A man looks over his shoulder at a woman who seems to be having a bad time

Women’s issues are more prevalent than ever and being able to discuss them with your partner is very important. Moreover, having your partner in your corner is essential to a healthy relationship. You can disagree on many things, such as whether pineapple goes on pizza or not, but if you disagree on core issues like gender equality and women’s rights, that doesn’t usually make for a healthy, supportive relationship.

He’s emotionally blocked

A couple with tense expressions quietly observing each other.

One of the core traits of machismo is emotional restraint. Traditional masculinity discourages men from being vulnerable or expressing emotions that are considered soft, like sadness. As a result, machista men don’t show much emotion or bottle everything up until they explode. You can address this by letting your partner know that he can share his feelings without judgment. When he does, it’s important to listen and validate his emotions. However, if he’s not willing to do the work, you have to ask yourself if you can continue in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally stunted.

He’s full of double standards

A man displaying a recriminating attitude towards a woman.

Machista attitudes often lead to holding double standards. If your partner often thinks it’s okay for him to do certain things, but it’s not okay if you do the same, you need to have a conversation about it ASAP. Point out double standards when they arise and explain how they make the relationship unequal and unfair. However, if he maintains this hypocritical attitude, it’s likely you’ll never see eye to eye.

He objectifies women

sillouehtte photo of woman standing beside window curtainsPhoto by Maru Lombardo on Unsplash

Machista men tend to reduce women to the way they look or how much sexual appeal they have. Men who objectify women simply don’t respect them, so if you see this kind of attitude in your partner, it could be helpful to talk about it. It’s important to put your foot down on this and if the behavior continues, we encourage you to think hard about whether this is the kind of man you want to build a life with.

He is resistant to change

man making a no gesture with his hand

When machista beliefs are challenged, men are often resistant to change. They think that letting go of the machismo threatens their masculinity and they fail to see the benefits because it’s so ingrained in them. You can help your partner try to move past this by discussing the benefits not just for himself, but also for the relationship you share. Being supportive is essential, but don’t allow yourself to be strung along if you don’t see any real effort being made on his end.

He has a disregard for consent

man holding a woman's armPhoto by SHAKEEL AHAMMED on Unsplash

Machista men tend to feel entitled about a lot of things when it comes to women, including physical intimacy. At the start of any relationship, it’s essential for everyone involved to establish clear boundaries and expectations about sex. However, if he disregards those boundaries once, that’s one time too many. You shouldn’t have to teach anyone to respect your limits. They either do or they don’t, and if they don’t, you’re better off without them.

He doesn’t like sharing responsibilities

couple arguing in the kitchen

Last but not least, men who live by machismo have a hard time sharing responsibilities. Especially as they relate to things they don’t consider masculine, like taking care of the house. Ideally, you should know where your partner stands on this before you even consider living together. But if you already live together and the burden falls primarily on you, it’s important to have a conversation and share responsibilities equally. Otherwise, everyday friction will build up and the relationship won’t stay healthy.

Recognizing signs of machismo in your partner is essential for fostering a relationship based on equality, mutual respect, and understanding. Strive to work together on this, but he’s not up for it, consider if that’s the kind of partner you deserve.

bop the bigot video game logo

In 2024, voting campaigns have evolved greatly, to say the least. Creativity is now the name of the game and tongue-in-cheek humor is expertly leveraged to drive action. One example of that is Bop the Bigot, a revival of a viral game created in 2016 by Bazta Arpaio, an Arizona activist group, as part of a campaign to unseat Maricopa County’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio lost his re-election to Paul Penzone that year.

The game has now been updated for the current election cycle and relaunched by On Point Studios, with new features added to enable players to find out what’s on their ballot, confirm voter status, and register to vote.

Much like its former 2016 version, the game allows users to take out their political frustrations by virtually “bopping” GOP candidates in the head. It’s very similar to whack-a-mole, except the mole is replaced by former President Donald Trump, Ohio’s Senator J. D. Vance, and Kevin Roberts, President of the Heritage Foundation, which is spearheading Project 2025.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

B. Loewe, Director of On Point Studios, came up with the concept for this game when working as the Communications Director at Bazta Arpaio in 2016, and is the executive producer of this revamped version. In the first version of the game, Bop the Bigot players used a chancla (flip flop) to “bop” the characters, tapping into Latino culture by leaning on the childhood experience of being set right by a flying chancla from a fed-up mother or grandmother.

This year, the chancla is replaced by a more current element, a green coconut, referencing Kamala Harris’ coconut tree meme. There are also side characters like “the couch,” cat ladies, and more coconuts. All references to jokes about Vice-Presidential candidate Vance, or insults Vance has made about women on the campaign trail.

Another new addition is that Harris’ laugh is immortalized as the game-over sound effect, an unexpected detail that adds even more humor and levity to the game.

cartoon renditions of Donald Trump, Kevin Roberts, and J.D. Vance around a Bop the Bigot logoPromotional image provided by On Point Studios.

Bop the Bigot, which is playable on desktop and mobile, is intended not just as a way to vent political frustrations, but also as a tool for activism and securing voter engagement.

For example, the game supports the work of Mexican Neidi Dominguez Zamorano, Founding Executive Director of the non-profit organization Organized Power in Numbers by using the “game over” screen to prompt players to donate to it and support their efforts.

Organized Power in Numbers is focused on empowering workers in the South and Southwest of the U.S. through collective action and comprehensive campaigns. Their mission is to create a large-scale movement that challenges the status quo and advocates for workers' rights, and racial and economic justice.

Currently, Dominguez Zamorano is leading worker outreach to 2 million working-class voters in the South and Southwest through doorknocking, texting, and calls with the help of local groups in North Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, and more.

“We have been blown away by the enthusiastic reception for the video game. We knew we wanted to be part of its creative approach because our movement needs more fun and laughter. We need more ways to connect with nuestra gente so we can feel joy among all the absurdity we witness every day,” Dominguez Zamorano shared with Luz Media via email.

“Our people are gente trabajadora and we deserve to feel uplifted even in our toughest moments. We are deeply involved in the South and Southwest so we know what’s at stake in this election and we’re happy this can be a resource to mobilize, raise spirits, and get out the vote," she concluded.

Dominguez Zamorano is a committed activist for immigrants and workers' rights, known for her strategist skills and expertise. She played a key role in the campaign to win DACA and has also held roles in major campaigns, including as Deputy National States Director for Bernie Sanders' 2020 presidential campaign. In addition to her work with Organized Power in Numbers, Dominguez Zamorano is serving as a Senior Advisor to Mijente’s Fuera Trump Initiative.

Grassroots efforts like these have taken on new life in 2024, with Bop the Bigot adding to the larger, ongoing fight against political apathy and disinformation. Just as it did during the 2016 race, the video game uses humor to soften the serious task at hand—getting people to the polls.

"We want the game to be a fun and comical outlet for anyone who’s been insulted, frustrated, or harmed by Trump in the past and everyone who is ready to move forward as a country after election day," explained Loewe in a press release. "The proposals in Project 2025 and the beliefs of Trump and Vance aren’t just weird, they’re truly harmful. We wanted to give people a humorous and peaceful way to smack down their racism and sexism. We hope it makes people laugh and also feel empowered and motivated to get to the polls on or before election day."

With a mix of satire, sharp political critique, and nostalgia, the game is a call to action. The upcoming election, which is getting closer by the minute, has sparked fierce activism and creative yet grounded initiatives like these aim to ensure voters are engaged, especially young Latinos and disenfranchised groups.

a woman giving the side eye to a man

Have you ever met someone who seems overly confident, self-centered, or even downright rude? Maybe they constantly talk about themselves, disregard your feelings, or even manipulate situations to their advantage. And, if you're anything like us and countless other Latinas, you might've thought, is this person just a purebred a**hole, or are they a narcissist?

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woman surrounded by colorful illustrations
Image by Sayuri Jimenez.

Nathalie Molina Niño has never been one to shy away from breaking barriers, and now, she’s focusing her attention on a new mission: demystifying corporate boardrooms for women, especially Latinas. Molina Niño is the President of Known, an asset management and financial services firm, a veteran tech entrepreneur and builder capitalist, and a board member at the iconic lingerie Brand, Hanky Panky, and others.

Like many corporate boards, Hanky Panky hadn’t publicly disclosed its board composition until recently. After the brand survived the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, Molina Niño decided it was time for more women, specifically more Latinas, to know what it means to be on corporate boards.

Coincidentally, the decision to finally be more vocal about this topic aligned with the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, which served as the perfect kick-off to the work.

"Something that rarely gets talked about and I think almost gets kept opaque by design is boards,” she explains in a recent Instagram announcement. “[This Latinx Heritage Month], that’s what I’ll be talking about.” Her goal? To equip more Latinas with the knowledge they need to navigate onto for-profit boards, where they can thrive and build multi-generational wealth.

For-profit corporate boards often feel like an exclusive club. And in many ways, they are, especially for Latinas, who hold the smallest percentage of board seats in Fortune 500 companies compared to other racial groups. According to the latest report from Latino Board Monitor, while Latinos hold 4.1% of these board seats (compared to 82.5% held by white people), only 1% go to Latinas. Molina Niño, a first-generation American of Ecuadorian and Colombian descent, is part of this boardroom minority.

When asked about her experience as a Latina board member during a recent Zoom interview, she said, “It’s been lonely. There’s not a lot of Latinas on boards.” She went on to explain that even serving on boards of Latina-founded businesses gets lonely because, “A lot of the times, people who serve on their boards represent their investors and, as a result, [...] you still don’t see a lot of Latinas on those boards.”

This lack of representation drives Molina Niño’s determination to increase Latina presence in corporate boardrooms. By sharing her insights, she hopes to give Latinas a roadmap to claim their seats at the table. “If you don’t know where to go, it’s impossible to figure out how to get there,” she says.

The Road to the Boardroom

Getting onto a for-profit corporate board isn’t an overnight achievement, but it’s not an unattainable dream either. People often think you need to be a CEO or have a certain type of background, but that’s one of the biggest myths about boards in Molina Niño’s experience. What they’re really looking for is expertise — whether that’s in finance, marketing, sustainability, or even technology. If you have that expertise, you’re already an asset. It’s simply a matter of which road you should take.

Understanding what boards are and how they operate is key to unlocking opportunities. For-profit boards serve as the governing body for companies, overseeing direction and financial stability, and guiding CEOs and executives in decision-making. But Molina Niño emphasizes that not all for-profit boards are created equal.

“There are two kinds [of for-profit boards] [...]. There’s the publicly traded business board and then, on the privately held side, there are, I would argue, two types of boards [...] the traditional business board and the venture-backed business board,” explains Molina Niño. Traditional businesses are often family-owned or long-established and may only form boards to meet requirements, like securing financing or transitioning through an ESOP. Venture-backed boards, on the other hand, are typically filled by investors who hold major stakes in the company.

According to Molina Niño, understanding the difference between them is how you can create a successful strategy. With publicly traded business boards, the whole world is privy to them, so, “The way that you get in there is a little bit more transparent. Sometimes those publicly traded companies will hire a recruiter to help them find new board members,” explains Molina Niño. For private companies, on the other hand, there’s no legal requirement to make announcements. As a result, most people don’t know anything about them or their inner workings.

“Usually what happens in traditional businesses that don’t have venture-capital investments is that the Founders, Executives, or the board members, if one existed already, they usually go to their friends,” and people they deem experienced to fill board seats. In other words, it’s the founder’s decision, and that’s an entirely different approach than hiring recruiters. When it comes to venture-backed business boards, the seats on the board are filled by whichever investor writes the biggest check.

This is why an understanding of the different types of boards and acknowledgment of their own strengths is what will help Latinas define a sound strategy. Whether that’s working with a recruiter, networking and connecting with founders to build trust, or making the biggest investment.

The Path for Latinas

For Molina Niño, the key to getting more Latinas into corporate boardrooms is education. Knowing what a board looks like and how it functions is how you can position yourself to get on it. In openly talking about this, without the mystique it’s usually shrouded in, Molina Niño is providing women, especially Latinas, with invaluable insights. “If we had Latinas understanding what are the three types of for-profit boards I think that, on their own, they would be able to figure out what their best chance is and adjust their careers to make themselves more competitive,” states Molina Niño.

When asked about the impact of increased Latina representation in boardrooms, Molina Niño flips the narrative. “Boards don’t help Latinas by offering them seats; Latinas help businesses thrive by being on their boards,” she says. “The whole point of sitting on a board is that you have experience and expertise, and as Latinas, you also have some cultural experience that everyone wants. [...] At the end of the day, we [Latinas] have to realize that we have a ton to offer and we have to be selective about where we put that expertise,” she explains.

As demand for access to the Latina consumer rises, Molina Niño predicts that more Latinas will find themselves recruited into boardrooms. But she’s not content to sit back and wait for that moment. By openly sharing her journey and insights, she’s making sure other Latinas know their worth and have the tools to claim their place at the table. “I realized that quietly being on boards that helped me personally is not helping other Latinas. [...] I was lucky enough to have friends who could advise me and share their experiences, so that’s why I’m doing this,” she stated.

With Hispanic Heritage Month as the backdrop, Nathalie Molina Niño’s mission is clear: “My goal is just to give Latinas enough information so they can make a plan for how to eventually get on a board that they’re paid to be on and that will eventually help them build generational wealth.”